I'm not going to Ryerson in the fall

I wanted to let you know that I received a call from the university to let me know that I don't have the science requirements needed to get into school for next year. They are no longer accepting applicants on the condition that they achieve the science requirements prior to the beginning of the school year so . . . I am hoping to take some courses in the fall -- perhaps even through the upcoming summer so I can reapply next year.

I am heartbroken. I tried to tell myself that it wasn't a big deal and that I wouldn't be upset if I didn't get a call for an interview but I lied. It royally sucks.

I wanted to say thanks for having been on my side and having supported me through this process.

Take care

See! Here is the pile of snow

that Doug help Fergus make!! Now they are sledding down the front lawn and into the big pile at the bottom of the lawn before the road. Good thing this is a quiet street!!!

Well, the OSCARS are over

AND . . . An Inconvenient Truth won!!! I am not surprised! Best documentary AND best song!! I am glad that they are getting the recognition because perhaps it is the kind of familiarity people will need to actually work to make a difference. I continue to be frustrated with the complacency I see in the world at large! This is our PLANET everyone!!! (deep breath! I know, I am "preaching to the converted.")

I love the Oscars (TM) and was happy to spend the evening huddled up in front of the television watching the pre pre show, the pre show (with smatterings of the Barbara Walters special) and the opening show before the actual awards got going. Doug was forewarned that this was how I envisioned the evening unfolding for me and so he and the boys spent most of the pre-show time playing Play Station. We even made sure to have a finger-food dinner so that there wasn't much to have to clean up afterwards.

We got a great dumping of snow last night. There isn't much in the way of quantity but to see it flying around in the air last night was making us glad we were all snuggled deep in our cosy house. Now we'll have to go out and shovel. ("We," isn't that funny? We only have one adult-sized shovel so right now Doug is outside shoveling and by the time I get ready and go out to see if he wants to switch, I bet he'll be finished. At least he will be if I get my timing right anyway.) I love how the boys are really excited about helping until they are actually outside. Right now Fergus is outside shoveling snow ONTO our front steps to make a hill. The snow Doug is trying to move away from the front of the house is actually getting closer and closer to the front door. I bet by the end though, Doug will be helping Ferg with this "project!"

We went and had dinner with friends on Saturday night. It was great to see them. They are a wonderful couple (Kelly's my best friend from WAY back -- 20+ years) and we don't make enough time to see one another. I guess life gets in the way for all of us. This time we decided to make it an adult night so it was nice to be able to relax and not have to listen for children. Kelly found out about a great pub in Guelph -- these friends live in Kitchener so we split the distance -- and so we were able to get some real pub fare. Doug had the fish and chips with a pint (or three) . . . doesn't get more appropriate than that! The boys didn't mind staying home with their babysitter and having pizza for dinner either. They love it when we decide to go out because it always means that they get a treat too.

I had a surprise call from my mom last Wednesday. Dad was curling in Guelph (for those who are not from Southern Ontario, Guelph is a city of around 100,000 people about 40 minutes from our place) and she was going to be looking for things to do. Did we want to go and have lunch with her? YES! The boys love seeing her (both of them but she was going to have to be enough this time) and were excited at the opportunity.

What a week! They had seen my sister and her partner (Noni and Chris) the previous weekend when Doug and I went on a failed date! It was a fairly miserable experience for us but the boys had an amazing time. One thing about Noni and Chris is that they don't have children and they really love playing with their nephews. Add to that that Chris really loves playing in general and you have a very fun combination. They picked the boys up at 6:00 or so on Saturday night to take them to a movie (Bridge to Terabithia) and then -- all hopped up on sugar from their snacks at the theatre -- to Chuck E. Cheeses for an hour or two. The boys were in HEAVEN!!!!

Meanwhile, Doug and I were trying to use the gift card we received from Noni and Chris in December. We didn't know that it is unreasonable to assume you can go to The Keg and get a table without waiting for 2 hours on a Saturday night. We were (still ARE) absolutely desperate for some time alone. We haven't been on a date in a very long time and we needed to get away from the house (because there is never any real privacy when you have an open-door policy and your in-laws living downstairs) so that we could try to be alone. You can imagine what kind of state we were both in and how much we were looking forward to our quiet dinner, ALONE. We tried two "Keg" restaurants in our area and the first was a two hour wait, the second was one and a half hours. We just felt defeated. We came home and got take away instead. Then we waited and waited for the party crew to come home!

Life is good. Busy and chaotic but good. I am grateful every day for Doug and his seemingly unconditional love and support.

Valentine's may be a bunk holiday with little more than an economic value but, if nothing else it forces us to think about love. It may make you frustrated that you're forced to think about love but consider this, how often do you make yourself think about it? I don't need flowers, candy, and cards to tell me I am cared for (they help, sure ;o) ) but I do like that we make sure not to forget to say "I love you." In our everyday life we are so swept away with what needs to be done or who needs to be driven to whatever lessons are on the agenda but sometimes we forget to make time for the one person who gives you a reason to get up in the morning. Sure, my kids do that too, but Doug is my forever man. The boys fill a different part of my heart than he does.

That's enough sentimentality for one day. I will go snuggle with Quinn while he races his cars around the virtual track on the computer screen. Maybe I'll put the kettle on for some hot chocolate too so my other boys can get warmed up when they come in.

Let's see if I can add the link to the quiz

I'm trying again. Here is the link (I think)

I took a fun quiz today

The link to the quiz is here - from my friend's site.

I rated as the Empress. I am not surprised because as I read the description it feels true to me but at the same time I feel unworthy to be an "Empress." I also feel like all of the moms I know and am close to would be Empresses too because of our devotion to our children.

Here is the definition of the Empress. (I am somewhat disturbed by the 38% connection to "The Devil" though.)

The Empress is a maternal symbol. She is the mother figure who loves, nurtures and protects. She will protect you, she will always be there when you are in trouble. When you fall over and graze your knee, the Empress will kiss it better. Yet she is not a weak figure. Her compassion is strength. If her children are threatened she will stop at nothing to protect them. If well aspected in a Tarot spread, the Empress can symbolise security, protection and unconditional love. If badly aspected it can represent over-protectiveness, fear of risk taking and refusal to face the real world.

III - The Empress		94%
VI: The Lovers		81%
I - Magician		81%
VIII - Strength		75%
IV - The Emperor		69%
0 - The Fool		63%
II - The High Priestess		63%
XVI: The Tower		56%
XIX: The Sun		56%
XI: Justice		50%
XIII: Death		44%
X - Wheel of Fortune		38%
XV: The Devil		38%

Take care

Update about Henry

For those who check in here to find out more about Henry then I will tell you that there isn't much to tell. His overall health seems to be okay. His pneumonia has subsided and so that worry is gone for the moment. The nature of the pneumonia he had is that he is a likely candidate to get again and again. We will wait for now and celebrate that he seems well.

He continues to go long periods without much in the way of food. He just isn't hungry. This is something that Christena struggles with on an ongoing basis. We can't force-feed him and yet it seems so unfair that he just isn't eating. He eats about the equivalent to what a picky toddler would consume -- so those of you who are parents know just how little that is -- and does not drink the fluids he would also need. We have told him that he needs more but he isn't interested and we work every day to respect that that is his wish.

As I say, he remains in fairly good spirits and there is nothing like the arrival of his grandsons to generate a broad smile across his face. I will continue to post news when there are things to tell. Until then, take care of yourselves.

Some exciting news!

I don't know why pictures always have to be at the top of my blog entries but that seems to be the way I am able to function so here you go! We are back to the snowboarding hill later today (and I mean *hill* as there is no way it can be considered a mountain in this neighbourhood!). Ferg had a bit of a struggle last week so his instructor took some time at the end of the lesson to work alone with him for a run and that did wonders to increase his confidence level. He can't wait to get back there today. (And the sun is out and the sunscreen will be liberally applied . . . I might as well get a tan if I have to hang out on the side of the hill.)

The real reason I started this post today is that two nights ago a friend of mine from an email list I am on (have been on for a number of years) wrote to the list asking for volunteers to go to Chicago, all expenses paid, to help at the La Leche League International Conference in the children's playroom. She has put the playroom together many times and has always had help. This year she found out that the helpers she usually gets are not able to attend and so she needed new ones. She hoped to find a couple of us from our list as we are quite farflung (from NZ, to the UK, to the US and Canada -- east to west) and don't often get a chance to physically reconnect.

I was sitting on the chesterfield with Doug when the email came in. I told him I'd love to go and see my friends. I explained that I wouldn't be out of pocket for the trip and he told me to go! It was as easy as that. He knows this is the last international conference so I won't get this chance again. I really want to see my friends. I don't really care about the conference itself. It's the social thing for me!

There you go! I am off to Chicago for a week in the middle of July. It feels good to have this chance. I do have to get a passport though and that could take some time.

Doug did go on to ask how I'd managed to arrange to go to a breastfeeding conference two times in a row and he still hasn't had a chance to get to the big photography convention in Las Vegas that he always dreams of attending. I reminded him that I haven't paid for it, either time. I made sure he knew that if he could get someone to fund his way then there was no way I'd stand in his was of going! He grumbled something about that being unlikely. (said grumbling was done with a smile on his face) Too bad. I'd love to have to finances to send him. Maybe someday.

The other exciting news??? We got enough snow here Tuesday night that it took me 2.5 hours to shovel the driveway. I could hardly move yesterday when I got out of bed. I think I thought I was dying! How can that light, fluffy stuff be so blasted heavy?? The snow was up over the front of our VW Rabbit. It was kind of funny to see it so buried. Never a dull moment!

Doug and the boys are home too!

After posting on Saturday, I spoke with Doug and we agreed that the weather was bad enough that travel was not a safe idea. He figured they would spend the night and head out in the morning when my parents left for church. No such luck. Sunday dawned more winter-y than the day before and the boys decided to stay put one more night. Before bed Sunday evening Doug and my dad went out to the yard to shovel snow and clean off cars. Their plan was to ready everything for a very early morning departure for Doug come Monday.

The picture here is from the back door at my parent's house. The cars they had cleaned the previous evening are covered in snow. Ours is the car on the right and, while it may be hard to tell, it is navy blue in colour (as is my mom's car on the left). They were getting 2-5 centimetres of snow per hour through the night.

Just before noon the wind died and there was a break in the weather and so Doug decided to make a run for it. He made it to my aunt and uncle's place before needing to pause and wait for another break. All-in-all a trip that usually takes 1.5-2 hours in total managed to take almost 6 (including stopping for a couple of hours with my aunt and uncle). To say he was fried when he got home would be an understatement.

Jennifer left Monday morning -- after spending an hour on the tarmac . . . really it wasn't a great travel day for any of the Gardiner's in our immediate family -- and is now safe and sound back in Calgary. She has a busy week ahead of her trying to catch up on the things she had to shelve while in Ontario. She is hoping to be back here in a month or so. She feels as though she wants to travel back to be here as often as possible given the fragility of Henry's health. (That said, who knows? Henry may surprise us all and live another 10 years.) How he has deteriorated over the past month has surprised us all and knock us all for a loop.

Today is a lovely sunny day. Perfect for traveling, really. Oh well. We are all home now and are settled in for the night!

Henry is home!

First, thank you again to all who have been sending well-wishes for Henry's health. He has improved enough for us to have brought him home yesterday. It is certainly an adjustment having him back in the house with his newly advanced state of Alzheimer's. Christena is much happier having him here and that brings relief to all of the rest of us. She is his primary care provider and it worried her considerably to have him in hospital.

Tonight is the first night of many to come for in-home care relief. Christena is entitled to 2 hours a day of caregiver relief and our worker is Lucy. (I tell you that in case I refer to Lucy in future and you wonder who on earth I am talking about.) She is lovely. She arrived just before 7 and the poor woman barely got in the door before Jennifer and I were talking her ear off, letting her know all that has transpired in the recent past. Her head must be reeling!

Henry continues to need assistance with virtually every task; getting off the sofa, cutting his food, dressing, bathing and more. Christena is willing to help him with all of these tasks however we feel it is important for her to have an emotional and physical break every day and are grateful that the hospital felt the same way. Lucy will be able to step in and temporarily fill Christena's roll while she is off at bible study, choir practice, or just out getting some groceries.

Jennifer has been here since Tuesday and will stay until Monday morning. As you can imagine, the reality of seeing Henry in such a vastly different state than he was in a Christmas has been hard. She is so strong though. She has been immensely helpful to Christena and has been the voice of reason for all of us this week. No surprise, the reality of having Henry come home meant a lot of preparations for how to manage his care which she has picked up and run with. I am grateful she has been able to be here.

I have not written about the rest of my family in quite some time. There isn't much new to tell you about. I just hung up the telephone after speaking to my children. Doug and the boys went to my parents for the afternoon/evening and when we spoke they were just coming in from their second time outside playing on the toboggan run that my dad built for them. Apparently Nani and Papa (my parents) have "WAY more snow than we do MOM!" They love going there and I love that they love it.

Fergus is still loving his snowboarding lessons even if it hasn't been as easy to learn as he had hoped. This past week we tried some rentals and they seemed to fit him better, allowing for him to better manipulate the board on the hill. Now, if only his physical fatigue from learning this new sport would not prevent him from spending as much time on the hill as he would like.

While Fergus is snowboarding, Quinn and I are supposed to be snowtubing. The problem is that with the late arrival of snow this winter, the snow tube park has not yet opened. Quinn has captured the hearts of all of the other homeschooling parents in the ski lodge though. While Fergus snowboards, he and I play cards, dominoes, and other games in the lodge and he provides the entertainment for many of the parents. Many are amazed that a 5 year-old is as adept at games as he is. It is really funny to watch.

Fergus has also begun taking some vocal classes with the expectation that he will be singing in a boys choir very soon. He is adjusting to the songs and style of the instructor but he is taking these lessons with his best friend, Adam, and that makes it easier to be willing to try something new. I am excited that he is enjoying the vocal lessons so much as it reminds me of my own passion for singing.

Both boys are also taking basketball (Fergus) and soccer (Quinn) during the week so I am never bored. There is always something to keep me busy.

Douglas remains extremely busy with work but that is what makes him happy so I am glad. He has been on location a lot lately too and so gets to take pictures of new and upcoming vehicle releases. Two weeks from now he will be at the Toronto Auto Show and will be taking all kinds of pictures. Did I say how much he is enjoying his work??

When I have been shuttling children around to various activities lately I have been letting my sister edit my university application. I finally applied to Ryerson University for admission to their midwifery program. The idea is to go part-time so as to keep things at home as much the same as possible for as long as possible. We shall see if I even get an interview. I would really love to be able to work in an industry that I really love. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I will go now. Thanks again for all of your support!