Where has the time gone?

My brother, Nathan, just arrived and already he is getting ready to leave tomorrow. Tomorrow evening, August 31st, he will fly out of Toronto and between the distance and the International Date Line he will arrive home in Taichung, Taiwan on Sunday, September 02nd. How's that for crazy.

He was here last night for the night and I will see him again tomorrow before he leaves. It was fun to watch him with my boys today. Fergus is such a Lego-nut, just like his Uncle Nath. Quinn likes it too but mostly because Fergus loves it and he loves whatever Fergus loves.

A day at Wonderland

Despite my allergies and my swollen and crusty eyes, I am delighted that Doug was able to take Tuesday off work and spend the day with us. We spent the day at Canada's Wonderland and although Quinn is not fussy on crowds, he managed to have the time of his life. Fergus too! We waited to go to this amusement park, located about 40 minutes from our place, until both boys were old enough to ride on some of the bigger rides.

Fergus has decided he isn't as fussy on the roller coasters as his father and brother. I, on the other hand, like both feet planted firmly on the ground.

I will post a few pictures here but am planning to add quite a few to my Facebook account for those of you who are on Facebook.

My brother is coming here for a visit tonight and my mom will pick him up tomorrow. Rhonda and I are planning to meet mom, dad and Nath before he goes to the airport on Friday to head back to Taiwan. Here's hoping that he is only there for one more year. It's nice to have him on Canadian soil again. I really don't like it when family is so far flung.

Take care

Pictures I wanted to post

to show some summer fun in the sun! These are taken at the cottage of our dear friends, Stephanie and Bart. We were able to spend time with them and other wonderful friends from Georgetown! We are so blessed to have such an incredible group of friends here in our community.

It is well and truly ALLERGY season!

This lovely image is what my face looks like these days. It is how I seem to be handling ragweed and goldenrod this year. They do finally start to open around noon or so. Can you imagine what they would be like if I didn't make sure to take the Claritin, Benedryl, Dristan AND Opticrom everyday???

It must be the weekend

Life has become crazy again.

The boys finished their swimming lessons for the summer and Fergus is thrilled that he earned not one but two swimming badges. He had been in a class with his best friend and his instructor was having Fergus do the same skills as Adam (who had moved a level ahead this summer while taking lessons that Fergus wasn't around for).

Quinn didn't get his badge but he is swimming like a big boy now. He needs a little more skill with adding his breathing to his front crawl stroke but again, I am astounded at how much he has progressed this year. He was working on his dives yesterday at the end of class.

Last night my client called to let me know she was being induced that evening (as her cervix was dilating without contractions and her first labour was two hours) so I had an idea what I would be doing through the night. There was only one catch. My brother was flying in this morning and I was to be fetching him from the airport.

My brother, Nathan (aka: Nate, Nath), in case I haven't mentioned this before, has been living in Taiwan since January 2004. He hasn't been home since then and I was the one to pick him up. How we managed to have a baby and STILL get me to the airport on time is beyond me. My dad was going to fill in for me if I couldn't get Nath on time but I was to call him by 3:30 this morning to give him enough time. The baby arrived at 3:20. Could she have cooperated any better if I'd asked??

My boys are over-the-moon that Uncle Nath is here. The first thing Quinn wanted to know was whether or not his Uncle Nath would be interested in playing Wii with him. What? Video games and Uncle Nath?? How fast could he get into my room to find the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game???

We have both only had a few hours sleep but are glad that he is here and are having a great time catching up.

and it will be LAVERNE????

Your Score: Penny Marshall

Your film will be 60% romantic, 41% comedy, 31% complex plot, and a $ 41 million budget.

Your romantic comedy-drama of a life is now in the hands of Laverne. We almost put Ron Howard in this spot, but we figured you wouldn't want the part of your dad played by Ron's little brother Clint (who's in EVERY one of his films). Penny will hire Squiggy, instead. She directed A League Of Their Own, Big, Awakenings, and Riding In Cars With Boys among few others.

Link: The Director Who Films Your Life Test written by on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

I am LOVE

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

40 years wed

No . . . not Doug and I, silly. My parents. Today marks their 40th wedding anniversary. An extremely auspicious day in our family, as you can well imagine. It also happens that today is my brother's 31st birthday (Nathan) and it is the birthday of a very dear friend of mine (Karen) from here in Georgetown.

Add that to the fact that Doug celebrated his birthday 13 short days ago and I would seem to have surrounded myself by a large number of Leos. Curiouser and curiouser. I don't know what that means but I do know that they each hold very special places in my heart. My SIL - Chantel, my UD, our friend Matthew and my friend Diana are in there too. The list is endless of special Leos that I know.

But I digress. Yes, today is the 40th anniversary of my parental units, Don and Colleen and to celebrate we invited their siblings (two of whom were able to join us -- Aunt Dorothy {and Uncle Des, who hosted} and Aunt Eleanor {with her husband Eion}), cousins, and friends of the past 40 years to join us as we raised a glass to toast the happy couple. It's kind of cool to see them so happy and so obviously in love after all of this time. They make it look so easy. I am sure it isn't but it gives one food for hopeful thought.

We spent the weekend at AD and UD's house helping to prepare for and then clean up from the party. Fergus and Quinn were SO excited to see their cousins at this celebration too. My cousin Melissa, her husband Luke and their two children (Adia and Thomas) came to share in the festivities. Quinn knew they were coming and must have asked me 10 times when "my cousins" would arrive. I love that he loves them so much. It reminds me of the amazing and connected relationship my siblings and I shared with Melissa and her brother, Chris as we grew up.

It was a great weekend! Again I feel as though I am walking in a haze though as I hope against hope that life will slow down a bit. I am happy though. It was a great way to spend time.

We're off!

This Sunday my parents will celebrate 40 years of wedded bliss. My maternal aunt (AD) and uncle (UD) have planned a "surprise" party for my parents (which they know about and have helped to plan) and have enlisted the help of my sister and I. She is putting together cold cuts and I am responsible for fruit. Seems an uneven distribution of work, doesn't it?? I mean cutting up fruit can take hours. Just kidding. The fruit thing will be a breeze and she has to collect and put together all that meat. Hmmm.

We are going to travel north today to stake out a good place to set up camp at AD and UD's since it is taking place tomorrow and some of the friends (of my parents and of AD and UD) are planning to spend tomorrow night. If we wait until tomorrow to arrive then all of the good spots may be taken. Nah! They have a big property and the boys are planning to go today so they can hang out in the pool. Sounds good to me. (Did I mention AD and UD have a puppy to play with and a LONG driveway to bikeride on? Oh yeah, and all that property makes great hunting grounds when you are having "Nerf" wars.)

Next weekend we will celebrate Mom and Dad's 40th a little more privately with them. When they had their 35th we had a small (just Rhonda, Chris, Nathan, Doug and I with my parents) family dinner in a restaurant of mom and dad's choosing . This time we will postpone it a week in order to let the chaos of the past few weeks settle a bit and then will all get together next weekend for a similar feast.

Have a great and sunny Saturday and Sunday!

Finish to the long weekend

Yesterday was the Monday of the long weekend and we were determined to spend some time together as a family. After the hustle and bustle of Friday, Saturday and Sunday we needed some down time or time to reconnect. Jen and Nino had left Sunday evening and the house was back to the usual chaos and volume levels.

We started the day by Fergus and I reading some more in Harry Potter while Quinn played cars in his room. Once we were finished our reading and everyone was ready we piled into the car and went out to enjoy brunch together.

After brunch the boys wanted to go to Toys 'R Us to look for more Nerf gun ammo. They found what they were looking for and we were finished! Now what to do? As much as we would have loved to have been in Thornbury or Collingwood to be able to enjoy the large body of water -- it was pretty hot and humid here yesterday -- we did not have any desire to drive for two hours.

Then an idea dawned on me! We stopped at the mall in Georgetown and I grabbed two bags of balloons! The boys had no idea what we had planned. I locked myself in the bathroom and began filling the latex bombs with water.

In the interim I had spoken with friends of ours (Karen and Larry) to invite them to our home that evening for drinks. She had turned it around to invite us to theirs as they have a pool. Okay, that would work for us and the boys would be happy to have that wet activity to enjoy.

I called Karen again while I was in the bathroom. By the end of the call it was all set up. We would take the water balloons to their place and have a war in their front yard. It was GREAT! Sure, there was a mess to clean up afterwards but it was fun while it lasted. Two of their four teenagers were home and took part with us. It was a lot of fun!

We relaxed after dinner and played some cards while sipping scotch. It was the perfect end to a wonderful and yet difficult weekend. This weekend worked to remind us how blessed we are with our friends and family.

Life to return to normal??

When I crawled out of bed this morning to the sounds of AM 740 blasting from the radio outside, I knew things were on their way back to normal. I had been sleeping in the boys' room as my return to home at 3:00 a.m. (after a birth) meant that Fergus and Quinn were snuggled in with Doug.

This week has been busy, to say the least. I have been waiting for my client (B) to deliver as she was due last week, July 24. In the interim, client (C) delivered early (was due August 09) last Tuesday. I taught Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings and we worked to ready our house and our minds for Saturday's memorial/celebration of Henry's life. B was the client to deliver last night, or early this morning rather.

Jennifer and Nino arrived on Thursday evening, I picked them up on the way home. It has been great to have her back in town and to have some more time with him. We don't know him well but the boys have been enjoying their time in his company (admittedly they have seen more of him than I have since I don't play Wii as much as he does). It will be VERY hard to see her go home to Calgary again this afternoon.

My sister-in-law from Taiwan stopped by yesterday. I know, I know . . . that sounds almost impossible, doesn't it? She has been in Toronto for the month of July to taking a yoga course (she is a yoga instructor). She and her mom hosted a dinner this past Friday evening but we were unable to attend and I really believed I would not be able to see her while she was in Canada this time. She surprised all of us by stopping by here for a few minutes on her way to the airport and we managed to squeeze in a quick visit and a couple of hugs. That should hold me over for a while.

The memorial was lovely. Two of Christena's siblings arrived with their spouses and it was great to see them again. There was a car full from Christena's old church in Collingwood as well as a few womyn from her church here in Georgetown. My sister, Chris, my parents, Aunt Dorothy, Uncle Des, Aunt Eleanor and Uncle Eion also stopped by from my family to offer their support and share the celebration of Henry's life. We even had friends both from town and from Kitchener come by and spend some time with us. I don't know that we will ever be able to thank everyone adequately for their support and love over these last several months, weeks and days.

Douglas put together an amazing slideshow of photographs taken of Henry through his life. We played a lovely bag-piped rendition of "Amazing Grace" and took a few minutes to just stop and think about the impact Henry had on our lives. That was the most difficult part of the whole day but we did it while we had only family and close friends around and we had our little cry and went back to the celebration.

Doug is 36!

We were able to celebrate Doug's birthday this evening by having some steak and fries (his favourite) followed by a home made chocolate cake. The boys made cards for their dad and we gave him a copy of the "Monty Python's Holy Grail" DVD. Christena joined us for dinner too and it was a great chance to celebrate my wonderful and amazing husband.

We are home and working through it all

I need to start by thanking all of you for your support over the past several months and especially through this past week. Despite knowing that Henry was ill with a pair of diseases that would be relentless in their eventual destruction of his body and mind, it has been a surprisingly difficult loss to endure.

Jennifer has gone home for a week before coming back here this coming weekend to help us celebrate Henry's life. We felt a memorial held at our home would be most suitable for him and what we believe he would have wanted. We have invited our friends and family members to come and share their memories of Henry with us as we celebrate his 78 years.

Henry's obituary was placed in the Collingwood newspaper this past Friday (and can be read by clicking here) and Christena spent the weekend back in Collingwood and was able to go back to the church she attended while living there. She even had a chance to get together this afternoon with some of her old friends for the early afternoon before one of the women in the group brought her all the way back to Georgetown.

My sister-in-law is in Canada for the month of July and is heading back to Taiwan this weekend. She has been here studying more of her yoga (she teaches and has been studying in Thailand periodically since moving to Taiwan with my brother 3.5 years ago) and has been so busy from sun up to sun down that we have not yet had a chance to connect. I am hoping to see her this Friday evening at her mother's house in Cambridge. We shall see how preparations for Saturday are coming before I am able to commit to that social activity.

While Jennifer was back in Calgary for the weekend and Christena was off staying with her sister in Collingwood, Doug, the boys and I went camping with 6 other families from Georgetown. This is the 7th time this group has camped together and, while we all live in the same town, it is one of the few opportunities we have through the year to spend time together to reconnect. These are families we have come to know through my connection with the local La Leche League group in town. They are the women and families who gave us the confidence to parent Fergus and Quinn the way that felt most right for us, even when it was different than many other more mainstream parents.


Today was for getting our bearings again and trying to work at creating a new normal without Henry here. It was also about taking a quick trip to Guelph to meet my parents on their way to drop my visiting cousins at the airport in Hamilton. They are flying back to Doncaster, UK this evening. It feels as though they just arrived. the picture here is of my parents (the couple on the right) with my cousins, Sharon and Chris (couple on the left).

Tomorrow is about getting back to the paperwork that Jennifer was not able to finish or that she has left for me to work on. She took the bulk of the paperwork burden on herself and even went home with calls to make from Calgary. I asked if I could do some if it too. It feels as though I am helping in some way when I know that I am making a call that needs to be made.

Oh well, off we go. Tomorrow is another day.

He's gone

A VERY brief note to let you know that my father-in-law, Henry Gardiner, died this afternoon at 15h45. He went very peacefully and had an opportunity to spend time with everyone over the course of the weekend.

Thank you for your spoken and unspoken words of support over the past several months as Henry struggled both with Alzheimer's Disease and lung cancer.

I also have family visiting

from the UK. My cousins from Doncaster have made their first trip to Canada to spend time with the Canadian arm of the Blackburn family. My cousin, Sharon and her husband, Chris arrived last Tuesday (the day when I attended a wonderful homebirth with my good friend, Lilly) and were met at the airport by my parents, my aunt and my uncle. They spent the night in Niagara Falls and have since been hanging out between my parents' house and the home of my aunt and uncle.

Tonight my parents are bringing Sharon and Chris to my place for the night and tomorrow they will take a tour of Toronto. I found a "Hop On, Hop Off" tour of Toronto which will allow them to see the attractions from an open, double decker bus and to get off the bus to have a closer look if they want. Depending on what is happening here, I would like to be able to take the boys on this tour too and will plan on that for now. (Did I happen to mention that I also have a client due tomorrow??)

Anyway, we spent Saturday night at my Aunt Dorothy (AD) and Uncle Des' (UD) (they are about 15 minutes from the nursing home where Henry stays) so that we could spend time with my cousins AND be close in case Henry's situation changed. It was great to have an evening sitting around the bonfire and relaxing. I am sure we regaled Sharon and Chris with so many stories about the family that they can't half wait to get back to England to further disconnect themselves from the dysfunction that is us.

Papa spent a couple of hours doing work at the pond at AD and UD's. He was out with his backhoe and not only took his boys for a ride but also taught them how to scoop using the backhoe scoop.I thought this was brilliant! Teach them these skills while they are young and perhaps they will have a future in the construction industry! I don't care where they work as long as they make enough money to keep their mother in the manner to which she would *like* to become accustomed. (just kidding)

It feels odd and somehow wrong to have these moments of fun and action while there is so much anguish happening at the same time.

It will not be long

We have spent a large portion of the last 4 days in Mount Forest. Henry's condition has further deteriorated. He is not taking anything by mouth and he is receiving morphine injections every 3 hours.

Doug will take Christena and Jennifer up to see him again this evening after he returns from work. We have been told that Henry will likely pass within the next 5 days or so.

He looks peaceful and has had moments of lucidity in the past few days. He seems to have recognized everyone (except perhaps the boys) at one point or another. Feeling recognized by him brings a feeling (to me at least) of having been able to let him know he is not alone and that he is loved.

When there is anything new, I will post again about Henry.

Harry Potter

I wish that I had planned better. As it was we weren't the only Muggles out of costume but it would have been fun to plan in advance. I think I could have done a pretty presentable Molly and Fergus would have LOVED to have his hair dyed black to be Harry himself.

Quinn, with his lovely blonde locks would have made a very convincing Malfoy. Now that the books are all out perhaps we will put our brains together and come up with some good costumes for the next movie release.

Downtown Georgetown set the main street area up as various HP locales and we started at the children's bookstore where we received a copy of the "scavenger hunt." I use the term loosely in that we weren't scavenging for anything more than clues but it was fun none-the-less. They boys LOVED the fact that we were out wandering the streets so late at night. We had to visit such places as Three Broomsticks, Hogsmeade, Hog's Head, Flourish and Blott's, Diagon Alley, The Shrieking Shack and many, many other familiar haunts.

Fergus has become a devoted HP fan and it was important to me to take him out to be part of this. It is so different than so many activities for children. I am glad we went. I am only sorry I didn't take any photographs.

That is that other part of what is happening here at the moment. We are trying to keep life reflecting some semblance of "normal" but the boys know there is a lot going on with Grandpa and are displaying endless maturity and patience for us. They are truly two incredible children and we are enormously blessed in them.

Henry, part 2

I am now home from a quick trip to Mount Forest. I have left Christena up there to stay with her sister this evening and tomorrow evening so that she can go and spend time with Henry.

He is no longer eating. There was a little improvement today in that the nurse was able to get him to take 2 oz. of liquid food supplement to wash down his medications. Yesterday he wasn't even allowing that. Without the water in his system he is not retaining anything on his body and right now he looks much, much more thin than in the photos I posted last week.

The nurse assured us that they are giving him pain medications regularly, even though he indicates that he is not in pain. They are not putting him in his wheelchair because he has become so fragile.

The nurse was not optimistic that we would be able to have a lot more time with him. Douglas has gone this evening to spend some time with Henry. Jennifer will be home tomorrow evening so she can go and spend time with him Sunday.

If anything changes I will try to let you know here. If you want to reach us, our home number is: 905-702-0768 (don't forget the country code for Canada when calling from overseas).

Henry

Yesterday morning Christena received a call from the home that Henry is in. She was told that Henry now is no longer able to be placed in the wheelchair. My understanding (and please remember this is all second hand information to me) is that he is no longer able to hold himself up in the chair, even with the straps. He is therefore being kept in his bed.

The other struggle they have apparently been having in the last couple of days is that he is not able to swallow all of what they are putting into his mouth. We don't know what that will mean. Is he getting enough to sustain him? Is he taking fluids? We don't know.

I am taking Christena to Saugeen Valley this afternoon and she is hoping to stay there with him for a few days. I don't know if that is a possibility or not. The nurse who phoned yesterday was talking about perhaps moving him to the palliative care bed in the home so we will find out today if that is indeed happening.

I should be able to update you better by this evening.

Stuart, I know you were thinking of Skyping on the weekend. We will probably be spending part of the day, at least, up with Henry. If you can be persistent though, hopefully we will be back by about 10 p.m. - midnight your time (if that's not too late) and will give you more information then.

Take care all.

It rained and poured

and our crunchy, yellow, dried out straw-like grass was SO grateful for the drink. It is the first rain we have had in a while and so we took this opportunity to put buckets under the eaves to catch the running water. Now we have some reserves for the veggies. My tomatoes always do so poorly when I only have city water to feed them with. Too few healthy nutrients and too many bad ones.

Fergus and Quinn were having a grand time filling buckets and watering plants that weren't getting much to drink (i.e.: those under the tree out front). I took this picture of them as it reminded me how much I have loved those times out in the pouring rain as a child. They had a BLAST and were reluctant to come in and put dry clothes on when it was time to leave for Noni and Chris'.