I also have family visiting

from the UK. My cousins from Doncaster have made their first trip to Canada to spend time with the Canadian arm of the Blackburn family. My cousin, Sharon and her husband, Chris arrived last Tuesday (the day when I attended a wonderful homebirth with my good friend, Lilly) and were met at the airport by my parents, my aunt and my uncle. They spent the night in Niagara Falls and have since been hanging out between my parents' house and the home of my aunt and uncle.

Tonight my parents are bringing Sharon and Chris to my place for the night and tomorrow they will take a tour of Toronto. I found a "Hop On, Hop Off" tour of Toronto which will allow them to see the attractions from an open, double decker bus and to get off the bus to have a closer look if they want. Depending on what is happening here, I would like to be able to take the boys on this tour too and will plan on that for now. (Did I happen to mention that I also have a client due tomorrow??)

Anyway, we spent Saturday night at my Aunt Dorothy (AD) and Uncle Des' (UD) (they are about 15 minutes from the nursing home where Henry stays) so that we could spend time with my cousins AND be close in case Henry's situation changed. It was great to have an evening sitting around the bonfire and relaxing. I am sure we regaled Sharon and Chris with so many stories about the family that they can't half wait to get back to England to further disconnect themselves from the dysfunction that is us.

Papa spent a couple of hours doing work at the pond at AD and UD's. He was out with his backhoe and not only took his boys for a ride but also taught them how to scoop using the backhoe scoop.I thought this was brilliant! Teach them these skills while they are young and perhaps they will have a future in the construction industry! I don't care where they work as long as they make enough money to keep their mother in the manner to which she would *like* to become accustomed. (just kidding)

It feels odd and somehow wrong to have these moments of fun and action while there is so much anguish happening at the same time.

It will not be long

We have spent a large portion of the last 4 days in Mount Forest. Henry's condition has further deteriorated. He is not taking anything by mouth and he is receiving morphine injections every 3 hours.

Doug will take Christena and Jennifer up to see him again this evening after he returns from work. We have been told that Henry will likely pass within the next 5 days or so.

He looks peaceful and has had moments of lucidity in the past few days. He seems to have recognized everyone (except perhaps the boys) at one point or another. Feeling recognized by him brings a feeling (to me at least) of having been able to let him know he is not alone and that he is loved.

When there is anything new, I will post again about Henry.

Harry Potter

I wish that I had planned better. As it was we weren't the only Muggles out of costume but it would have been fun to plan in advance. I think I could have done a pretty presentable Molly and Fergus would have LOVED to have his hair dyed black to be Harry himself.

Quinn, with his lovely blonde locks would have made a very convincing Malfoy. Now that the books are all out perhaps we will put our brains together and come up with some good costumes for the next movie release.

Downtown Georgetown set the main street area up as various HP locales and we started at the children's bookstore where we received a copy of the "scavenger hunt." I use the term loosely in that we weren't scavenging for anything more than clues but it was fun none-the-less. They boys LOVED the fact that we were out wandering the streets so late at night. We had to visit such places as Three Broomsticks, Hogsmeade, Hog's Head, Flourish and Blott's, Diagon Alley, The Shrieking Shack and many, many other familiar haunts.

Fergus has become a devoted HP fan and it was important to me to take him out to be part of this. It is so different than so many activities for children. I am glad we went. I am only sorry I didn't take any photographs.

That is that other part of what is happening here at the moment. We are trying to keep life reflecting some semblance of "normal" but the boys know there is a lot going on with Grandpa and are displaying endless maturity and patience for us. They are truly two incredible children and we are enormously blessed in them.

Henry, part 2

I am now home from a quick trip to Mount Forest. I have left Christena up there to stay with her sister this evening and tomorrow evening so that she can go and spend time with Henry.

He is no longer eating. There was a little improvement today in that the nurse was able to get him to take 2 oz. of liquid food supplement to wash down his medications. Yesterday he wasn't even allowing that. Without the water in his system he is not retaining anything on his body and right now he looks much, much more thin than in the photos I posted last week.

The nurse assured us that they are giving him pain medications regularly, even though he indicates that he is not in pain. They are not putting him in his wheelchair because he has become so fragile.

The nurse was not optimistic that we would be able to have a lot more time with him. Douglas has gone this evening to spend some time with Henry. Jennifer will be home tomorrow evening so she can go and spend time with him Sunday.

If anything changes I will try to let you know here. If you want to reach us, our home number is: 905-702-0768 (don't forget the country code for Canada when calling from overseas).

Henry

Yesterday morning Christena received a call from the home that Henry is in. She was told that Henry now is no longer able to be placed in the wheelchair. My understanding (and please remember this is all second hand information to me) is that he is no longer able to hold himself up in the chair, even with the straps. He is therefore being kept in his bed.

The other struggle they have apparently been having in the last couple of days is that he is not able to swallow all of what they are putting into his mouth. We don't know what that will mean. Is he getting enough to sustain him? Is he taking fluids? We don't know.

I am taking Christena to Saugeen Valley this afternoon and she is hoping to stay there with him for a few days. I don't know if that is a possibility or not. The nurse who phoned yesterday was talking about perhaps moving him to the palliative care bed in the home so we will find out today if that is indeed happening.

I should be able to update you better by this evening.

Stuart, I know you were thinking of Skyping on the weekend. We will probably be spending part of the day, at least, up with Henry. If you can be persistent though, hopefully we will be back by about 10 p.m. - midnight your time (if that's not too late) and will give you more information then.

Take care all.

It rained and poured

and our crunchy, yellow, dried out straw-like grass was SO grateful for the drink. It is the first rain we have had in a while and so we took this opportunity to put buckets under the eaves to catch the running water. Now we have some reserves for the veggies. My tomatoes always do so poorly when I only have city water to feed them with. Too few healthy nutrients and too many bad ones.

Fergus and Quinn were having a grand time filling buckets and watering plants that weren't getting much to drink (i.e.: those under the tree out front). I took this picture of them as it reminded me how much I have loved those times out in the pouring rain as a child. They had a BLAST and were reluctant to come in and put dry clothes on when it was time to leave for Noni and Chris'.

What we did on Friday

Well, I have been wanting to get my tattoo re-done and finished with astrological symbols (Leo, Aries, Taurus and Scorpio for Doug, the boys and me), a sun, three phases of the moon and a spiral. I must have been out of my mind. I thought I should be able to get all of that done for 100-150$. I was totally wrong. I am apparently looking at around $25o. and that is beyond what our budget can afford right now.

Since I was planning to go and check it all out anyway, I convinced my SIL to come too. She had been wanting and planning to get her belly button re-pierced. That's what we did instead. She found a most excellent "skull" belly ring and had it put in. Looks wonderful!

They boys were then into a tattoo phase though and when Fergus found a "tattoo kit" in the toy section at the store on Saturday, he couldn't resist spending his $20.00 on it. We were en route to Noni and Chris' where everyone received a tattoo. Chris did this cool one for my sister, on her calf.

What a great weekend!!

Henry is 78

We took a quick trip to Mount Forest today to see Henry. When we first arrived he was in his room and was having a nap. This is Jennifer, Christena and Henry in his room.

We were able to take him for a walk once the nurses had got him up and dressed and so this other picture is of the three of them in the greenhouse. He seems to be doing okay now, as you can probably see he is taking oxygen all of the time, but he is still not able to get around on his own. He was in a good mood for the most part and we were able to have a bit of a conversation with him. He still sleeps most of the time but it was really wonderful to have a bit of time with him.
Anyway, thought those of you who know him, would enjoy seeing his picture.
Take care

Henry may move into different care

We are not certain if it is the cancer moving forward or if it is another progression of the Alzheimer's disease but Henry is not doing well at the moment. Christena is convinced that it is the cancer but we haven't had a doctor assess him and just can't know for certain.

He is no longer able to stand at all and has to be physically moved from bed to wheelchair and then strapped in to the chair so as not to fall out. It seems to me though that this is something that is not uncommon with Alzheimer's patients (I believe it happened to my grandmother after a time) although it has come on VERY suddenly.

Christena is going to call the local hospital to ask if there is a palliative care bed available so that we can have him moved closer to her. It has been hard to find opportunities for Doug or me to take her to Mount Forest given our respective work schedules and my clients with due dates that have been so frequent recently. If Henry is able to be moved closer it will allow her the freedom to spend time with him whenever she wants.

Henry is to be seen and assessed by the doctor on Wednesday. I am hoping to have a chance to take Jennifer and Christena to Mount Forest on Thursday or Friday. I really think it is important that Christena not get the report herself given the nature of what will be discussed and how worried she already is about his well-being. I also figure that if two of them hear what is to be said, it doubles the chances that one of them will remember some of the details.

As soon as I know more, I will let you know. Take care.

I was away for a week

and had a lovely time with my parents and my family. It was a bit of a unique situation in that we stayed in the cottage next door to our old cottage. My parents had a cottage in Thornbury, Ontario (if you are looking at a map of the Great Lakes, look at Lake Huron and how there is a bay off of it to the right. At the very bottom of the bay, the southern-most point, is the Georgian Triangle and that is not only where I was last week, but also where I grew up.)

Anyway, the year before Doug and I got married my parents bought a great little cottage on the water. We spent part of every summer up there and it was just 5 minutes from my parent's house (where they both ran their businesses). Two years ago they sold it and we lost that beach connection; or so we thought. Last year my dad (a handyman by nature and someone who can't possibly sit still) was "hired" by the guy whose cottage was next door to ours. He was needing new windows put in and he offered to allow my parents the use of his cottage for a week is my dad would do the work. Dad said yes and he and mom invited us to stay up there with them. It was so great that we decided to rent it again for this year.

When we arrived this year I met the neighbours who bought mom and dad's old cottage. They are a lovely couple but it was surreal to see them going in and out of our old place while we were next door. They were not around last year when we were there.

Funny thing though, that couple hired my dad to install a dishwasher for them last week. They left on Monday with plans to be back Friday and could my dad have it installed by then??? WEIRD!! (My parents had done SO much work on their cottage over the years and dad's working there gave us a chance to go in and see how they had re-decorated -- or not as was the case. They did paint the pine ceiling white which is a mortal sin in my dad's eyes. I thought it looked great.)

Once he got started with the installing and working around the two places, he couldn't stop. I was hysterical. He did take time out to kayak with the boys and have dinner with some old friends but mostly he worked.

I had a chance to see my cousin, Melissa and her children too! It was SO great to reconnect with Melissa and have a couple of opportunities to catch up on what life is like for her, her husband, Luke and her two kids. She has a 5 year old, Adia and a 3 year old, Thomas. All four of the children played SO well together. I don't have her permission to post pictures of them but trust me, it was wonderful. Fergus has been asking me about his cousins and this was a great chance for him to get to know them.

Anyway, the boys spent a great deal of time in the water and on it too. Doug left Monday and came back Friday so he didn't get as much time at the water as we did. He made the most of it anyway. His mom had been in Collingwood (20 minutes from Thornbury) for the week visiting her sister and so on his way back to the cottage on Friday he picked her up and brought her to the beach. The benefit was two-fold: she had some time to visit and hang out with my family but it also meant that I wouldn't have to leave as early because I didn't have to pick her up en route.

Next big adventure??? Camping in two weeks (after Aunt Jen goes home)! The boys are in for a GREAT month!!!

Ontario Place June 22, 2007

Here we go! This is going to be mostly pictures. I will tell what is what but suffice it to say that Fergus and Quinn had the time of their lives at Ontario Place and the fact that they were able to share it with their best friend was the cherry on the top!

Quinn felt too small to go bumper boating with Fergus and Adam. He knew he was tall enough (he just BARELY squeaks in at 48") but he was not certain enough of himself to feel safe so while they bumper boated, he drove a little blue car.






Once they had finished driving and boating we went to see the IMAX presentation of "Mysteries of Egypt." What a cool movie and it was Fergus and Quinn's first experience seeing that kind of IMAX movie. They saw "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" in IMAX last year but it wasn't filmed the same, nauseating way. What glorious landscapes through Egypt though.

We stopped for a quick slide before grabbing our lunch. After lunch we decided to spend some time in the water park. At almost any other time in the recent past we would have been able to be at the water park and be adequately heated by the sun when coming out of the water. Not so on this day. The first full day of summer and we managed to FREEZE out in the wind when coming out of the water. It reached a high of 22 degrees Celsius while we were at the park and the breeze was blowing off Lake Ontario into the water area. Brrrr . . .

Fergus, Quinn, Adam and Stephanie (Adam's mom) first went to the VERY top and shared a large tube down. Once they had done that once though, Steph and Adam had had enough. Despite Quinn's lips being the same shade of blue as his sun suit his brother managed to convince him to try it again so the two of them rode the tube ride again. I must say, Fergus made every effort to keep Quinn near him all day. Both Fergus and Adam are extremely welcoming of Quinn with most everything they do.

Once we were finished with the water, everyone got their dry stuff back on and the boys head off for some climbing. Before climbing we played 9 holes of mini-golf and we spent as much time in the bushes trying to find balls as we spent on the course. It was fun none-the-less. This climbing structure is WAY up. It is difficult to get a true sense of how high they were. Let's just say that I used the full zoom feature on my camera. From left they are: Fergus, Quinn and Adam.

We finally managed to get them down from up there and convinced them that it was time to head back to the car to go home. Steph and I were zonked.

As we were heading out of the park we saw a perfect picture spot with the city of Toronto and the CN Tower in the background and stopped one last time to take a photo of the boys posing with their best "bad boy" poses.

Another crazy busy week and then . . .

the weekend will arrive. I have been out doing water-related activities with the boys every day this week. We started by going to a new splash pad Monday and then swimming and yesterday we were able to combine swimming with visiting some friends we haven't seen for a while.
Today we are off to celebrate the end-of-year with our friends from Shady Grove. Shady Grove is the name of the Homeschool Enrichment Program that Fergus has been a part of for the last two years. This year we are finishing off by going to a conservation area and playing in the water and just hanging out. Hopefully the teachers will be there too. I must remember to take my camera.
Tomorrow Steph and I are taking Adam, Fergus and Quinn to Ontario Place for the day. My boys haven't ever been and have just come to the age where they are learning about amusement parks and such. I must remember to measure Quinn today as I suspect he will be tall enough for most but not all of the rides that Fergus is able to go on.
Saturday we are having our annual pot-luck BBQ with some of our friends (the same group we go camping with every summer and such) here at our place -- our home is small enough that outdoor, summer activities suit it best.
And then . . . wait for it . . . Jennifer arrives on Sunday. We had become spoiled with her more frequent visits in the past few months and so it feels as though the 5 weeks since her last visit has been excessively long. The boys feel the need to see her as do Doug and I.
My children are SO blessed. They have FANTASTIC relatives who love them unconditionally and give them undivided attention. I just think it is so fabulous that they get to see their Aunt Jen as often as they do considering that she lives several hundred kilometres away. I love that they can see their Noni and their Chris as often as they do. Like always though, I wish that we could all live a little closer to make it that much easier to see one another. And don't get me started on Nathan. I miss him like crazy and miss the relationship that he hasn't (YET) been able to forge with the boys. It will come. Eventually Nath won't be living in Taiwan and the boys will have more opportunities to see both him and Aunt Chantel. Aunt Chantel (Nathan's partner) is coming back to Canada for a week or two at the beginning of July. We are definitely planning to make time to see her while she is here.
That's the week in a nutshell. Hope yours is as beautiful as ours!

Two of my gardens

Yesterday I posted that I have a plethora of lettuce that needs eating. In this first picture you can see my vegetable patch (on a weird angle, I know. I was trying to get more of it in that way). You can see the sunflowers all over the place and the purple is the lettuce coming up wherever. Last fall when my MIL pulled the seeding lettuce from the garden she placed it in the compost. A *great* idea for lettuce that is *not* seeding. She did the same with the sunflower seeds the she swept off the floor of the shed. When I pulled compost out of the bin and worked it into the soil the seeds self-propagated and now I have sunflowers and lettuce EVERYWHERE.

The tall poles out of the ground are for my pole beans. I have a fabulous pairing of both purple string beans and a spicy, long, skinny green bean. They grow beautifully together. In the picture there are also some yellow wax bean plants, some carrots, spinach, beet root, onions, tomatoes, zucchini, marigolds and basil. Most of that stuff you won't be able to see for the lettuce and sunflowers.

I have also posted a pair of pictures that Quinn and I took this morning of one of our perennial beds. (Again, sorry for the odd angles.) I love my flowers as much as I love my veggies. We are to get some rain today too.

Our Father's Day

The post below this one is a (poor) copy of the page we put together for the door of Henry's room at the Long-Term Care Facility (LTCF). The other people in Henry's room both have pages of information about themselves on their door and it is kind of neat. Doug and Christena asked if I would do something for Henry and it was fun to spend the time on it. Now, the page I did has the images centred better and the layout more aesthetically pleasing but this works to give you the idea that we were striving for.

I like the idea of this information being shared. Indeed much of it is what Henry remembers more clearly than the stuff that happens from day to day. It also helps the nurses have something to talk to Henry about when they know what his past was like.

We had a great Father's Day with Doug yesterday. The boys and I had been to Sears earlier in the week and picked up the pop-up dining tent that Doug really wanted. That was his gift and yesterday morning Quinn, who has been aching for Father's Day to hurry up and arrive, jumped out of bed at the crack of 9:00 am and immediately wanted to know when we could give daddy his present. I reminded him that it was Father's Day and that it would be nice if he let daddy lie-in for a while before dumping a gift in his lap. Doug got up a few minutes later with Fergus following closely behind.

Doug was excited about the tent. The other thing he wanted for "his day" was to go swimming. We thought and thought about where we could go and relax and have fun and the best place that came to mind was my aunt and uncle's place in Varney (about 75 minutes from here). We packed everyone, including Christena, into the car and set off. We had made arrangements with my own dad to meet in Varney (after having invited ourselves to my aunt and uncle's I also invited my MIL and my own parents, aren't I kind??) so that I would have a chance to see him for Father's Day.

We enjoyed the afternoon laughing and splashing in the water, visiting with family, and playing around out in the summer sun. It was a great day. We finished it off with a BBQ dinner and salad (we are trying desperately to eat all of the lettuce we have in the garden but there is no way it will happen -- if you live nearby and want lettuce PLEASE come get some) and then Fergus and I went to softball practice while Daddy and Quinn fought with the new tent. It was standing and in one piece when we got home so it would appear that Doug won the tent war.

We are off to a different splash/spray pad park this afternoon with friends. We have decided to try a new one every week all summer to see which ones are the best. It promises to be a hot and hazy afternoon with a maximum UV rating so the boys will be slathered with 50 SPF sunscreen AND sunsuits while playing in the water. I, on the other hand, will hide in the pavillion and visit with my friend.

Have a wonderful week!

Henry's note on his door

I hope this works out like we have it on the sheet:

Henry Gardiner

Henry was born, July 12, 1929 and was raised in Provan Mill, a suburb of Glasgow, Scotland. He was youngest son to John and Margaret Gardiner. His siblings included: Maizie, Jack, Robert, and Tillie. Maizie moved to Canada with her husband, David, and it was to them that Henry came when he migrated at age 29.

Henry’s first job was making and selling umbrella handles around age 14. He went on to spend time in the British Armed Forces and was placed in various countries around the world, including time spent in Hong Kong and Sri Lanka. Upon returning from overseas he worked in various places of employment. While still in Scotland he worked in different vocations including time spent as a delivery truck driver. He was such a good driver that he took driving tests for a number of his friends, including one of his brothers!

He migrated to Canada in 1958 and began work at the Collingwood Shipyards in 1960. This was his place of employment until the Shipyards closed their doors and ceased operations in 1986. Henry worked with men like John LeGoaix and George Mittimier who became lifelong friends of Henry’s. In fact John LeGoiax stood as Best Man at Henry’s April 25, 1964 wedding to Christena Hoel of Stayner.

Henry met Christena through Herb Hudson, husband of Louise Hudson, Christena’s eldest sister. A year and five days after being wed in a small ceremony in Collingwood, Henry and Christena welcomed their first child, Jennifer Margaret Gardiner. Six years and three months later they had a son named, Douglas Henry Gardiner. Their family was complete with two beautiful children.

Henry and Christena lived a numerous residences over their years of residing in Collingwood. The found themselves at home on Pine Street, Fourth Street East, Spruce Street, Alice Street and Tenth Street in the growing town. They watched their children grow up and move out on their own.

Jennifer went to York University for a few years until she realised that what she was studying was not feeding her heart. She left York to pursue other interests and now resides in Calgary with her partner, Nino and is owner of her own successful company: Meet The CEO.

Douglas studied Photography at Fanshawe College and now owns DSF Imaging and put his digital imaging skills acquired at college to use for himself and his customers. He and his wife, Samantha, have two boys: Fergus (aged 9) and Quinn, (aged 6).

A lovely day in June

Wow! I hadn't realized that it had been a while since I last posted. In that time one of the things we have done is that we have watched Fergus' end of school year play. The two pictures I have attached are of Fergus drumming (the whole younger class was drumming while the older class danced - this picture is only of Fergus and his friend Ayla) and of Fergus as a streetkid in an abbreviated version of Oliver Twist. They did a GREAT job and it was really fun to watch them. Christena (my MIL) as well as my own parents made the trip to Eden Mills to see him perform with his peers.

That night, after racing from Eden Mills to Glen Williams, he got his first run ever in softball (he has only been playing for a few weeks). He hit himself to first base and then was hit and walked around to score a run. We were over the moon!! What a great day!!!

Friday we had a huge but FAST storm run through our neighbourhood. We were on our way to have dinner with friends in Burlington and saw the dark clouds. As we were getting into the Wagon Doug decided that the increase in wind was making him nervous about leaving the Rabbit under the tree in our front yard so he got out to move it. Since he was moving the car I decided to make sure things were tidy and tied down in the back garden. We told the boys to wait in the Wagon as we would be right back.

We went about our chores, Doug coming to help me once he had the Rabbit safely away from trees and no sooner had we finished when the big pellets of rain started hitting us and we ran for the Wagon. Once we got around the side of the house we were enveloped in a wall of wind and debris. We had dirt, grit, leaves, and bits of twigs all over us; in our hair, our mouths, on our clothes. The wind was so strong we followed our instincts which were to grab the boys from the car and take them into the house. We then watched the storm from the front porch. Within a few minutes we saw that about a third of the houses on our street had lost significant pieces (limbs, boughs, branches) from their trees. We never did end up with anything on either of our vehicles but I am still relieved that we took the boys inside.

And after all was said and done, I still needed to come home from dinner with friends and water my gardens because we didn't get enough rain to keep anything alive. All around town there were trees uprooted and power lines down.

Doug took Christena up to see Henry on Monday. He is doing well. His breathing is certainly much improved. They are very good to him there and allow him to function on his own schedule. That is to say that he is truly a "night owl" and daytimes are not when he is most active. Retrospectively I can see that that was a big part of the challenge Christena faced with him being at home. He wanted to be awake at night and she did not. He still isn't able to do things for himself at night any more than he can during the day, but that is why he kept waking her at night. His schedule was backwards.

He sleeps most of the day away with them only waking him for meals so that he doesn't go without. He is not conversant anymore although he will give one word answers to questions. As I have said before there is some grace in the fact that he is at least far enough into his disease that he doesn't seem to *see* the other individuals around him and how they are behaving. At least he isn't always pressing Doug and Christena to find out when they are going to take him home. He seems settled where he is.

This weekend is Father's Day and I hope Doug gets to go up to Mount Forest to see his own dad on Saturday so that Fergus and Quinn can have their dad on Sunday. I have managed to have the day off so I can be around too.

Fergus, Quinn and I went shopping for Doug's gift on Monday while he and Christena were in Mount Forest. We wrapped it as soon as we got home and hid it from view. Quinn is so excited about the fact that the gift is here, in the house, and ready for Doug to receive that he can hardly stand it. He is counting down the days to Father's Day and is checking regularly to make sure the gift is where I put it. It is very sweet. A cute reaction for a gift he is giving that he didn't actually donate any funds to. Ah well, the innocence of youth!

Have a glorious weekend!

Summer fun!

I have a couple of pictures to throw up here because I think they are cute. Yesterday was a warm day and it was also the first day that was warm enough to visit the local splash pad. My boys (and Adam, who is my spare child most of the time) were the eldest by far.

A splash pad, for those who are not aware of these locales, is a flat, open water park. There are jets that shoot water up out of the ground, into the air, and the children run around and get soaked. They are a fairly new phenomena around these parts so the trees are not very mature and there is little shade to speak of. This particular location also seems to get a lot of wind because it is out in the open, and so it has to be fairly warm for the children to use it without freezing. The water is clean (which is good and bad -- I can't get past the HUGE waste of water) but because it is clean it is like ICE shooting out of the floor.

As I was saying, the trees are young. This summer they put a couple of new trees in and new trees require a lot of water. My boys like to take pails to the splash pad so they can collect the water and dump it on one another. Yes, I know, it's a painfully mean game to play but they seem to love having their heads ache from the cold water coursing over their skulls. When one of the local Parks and Recreation workers saw them collecting the water he came over to ask if the boys were with me. When I indicated that they were indeed mine, unless they'd done something wrong of course, he asked if I thought they would be willing to water the two new trees around the parkette. The boys were delighted.

I guess all of the running around and playing was enough to wear poor Quinnie out because he couldn't make it all the way through my reading of Chapter 8 in Harry Potter last night. Reading Harry Potter is a new thing for our family. I wanted to wait to read them myself until the boys were old enough to hear it. We started just after Easter and are halfway through book number three. It is all Fergus wants me to do with him these days -- well, that and play tennis on the Wii, which I do fairly well I might add. Hopefully we are able to read them fast enough to get to the last book shortly after it is released this summer.

Henry is okay

Very briefly for those who are checking in to find out how Henry is making out, he is doing fairly well. It seems they caught the pneumonia at the beginning this time (an advantage of having him in a place with 24 hour nursing staff to assess his well being) and the antibiotics have stopped it's progression. He is now complaining more constantly about pain in his back. The pain is behind the spot on the lungs where the cancer is. We don't know if this is related or not. It would seem sensible to us but we are not oncologists.

Christena's sister, Marianne, lives in Mount Forest and she was kind enough to stop by to see him last evening on her way home from work. She felt Henry was fairly engaging and seemed to know that he should know her from somewhere. This felt fairly positive to us.

Anyway, that's what is new. I'll write more when there is more to tell.
Take care

Wii did it!!!

Well, since Christmas Fergus and Quinn have been patiently (or sort of) waiting until such a time would arrive when they would have enough money to purchase a Wii. For those who are not familiar with this item, it is a video game system of the latest variety. It is interactive in so far as you swing the controller and move your body to engage the game. In the two images attached Fergus and Quinn/Daddy and Quinn are boxing against one another. It is entertaining to watch. I haven't actually tried to play it yet.

The system arrived this morning. With Quinn's birthday money added to the cache of Fergus' Wii funds, we had enough to buy the system. Last weekend when we were in Future Shop to see if they had any Wii in stock they told us they didn't BUT would likely have more on Friday next. They also said to call on Thursday to see if more were coming in. When Doug called last night he was told there were more coming and he set his alarm to get up early and go stand in line. Because we didn't know what kind of a line up there would be we chose not to tell the boys about the Wii coming and instead Doug took the money they had set aside to purchase it. They were fairly excited when he got home with this treat!!

They whole day has been about this gaming system. I suspect that it will be on the list of activities to do when it is raining outside this summer. The boys have been allowed to play most of today but know that tomorrow they are back to their one hour of screen time per day.

Anyway, thought you might like to see these pictures. The flash wasn't working so I have lightened them as best I can. Sorry about the image quality.

Take care

And Quinn turns 6, second.

Can it really be that six years ago this past Saturday I managed to birth another baby of my own (and Doug's too)?? The time goes by so fast. Yes, it is so and our own Quinnsterman (as my parents call him) has moved into his seventh year, having happily completed six (by the skin of his teeth a few times, I might add).

They day dawned sunny and bright so we found Grandma outside, working out and we interrupted to have some birthday gift time before the party started. The party didn't start until noon but there was some tidying to do first and food to prepare. All Quinn wanted was money from everyone to be able to add his money to Fergus' so they could collectively by a Nintendo Wii. The gift we gave him with the money was because giving money still feels weird to me -- even when it's all they really want.

The pictures are of Quinn opening the gift from Doug and I (he had already opened the money from Grandma and the Phlat Ball from Fergus) and of Quinn and his party cake.

We had a few of his friends here on Saturday and we let them beat on a Scooby-Doo pinata for a little while before they gave up and just pulled the ribbons hanging out the bottom. My brother emailed from Taiwan -- where he and his partner stay -- and asked how Quinn's birthday was. I wrote: "It was great. A party with a bunch of 4-6 year olds running around, eating chocolate and swinging a large wooden stick at a papier mache "Scooby Doo." You know . . . it was non-stop entertainment. Then we reeled them in to sit still in the theatre to watch Shrek the Third. [Quinn] said it was "the best day of [his] life!" So I take it that he had fun."

It was a great day! Doug joined us at the theatre for the movie and Fergus came home about ten minutes after we got back as he had been in Guelph at another birthday party for a couple of his friends. What a busy day. And that was just the start of our long weekend.

Last night (Sunday) we went to hang out with a bunch of our friends and sit around the campfire (well, a caged campfire as we were in town) sipping wine and visiting until the fireworks started. We could see the town fireworks display from their backyard. It was perfect!

I saw my parents and Uncle Des on Friday while Christena was visiting Henry and then saw my sister and Chris today. It has been a GREAT weekend all the way around. I hope yours was GREAT too!!

An update about Henry first . . .

as things have deteriorated with Henry's health. He
seems to have another case of pneumonia. We don't know how bad it is
at the moment but while Doug and Christena were visiting him today his
condition became steadily worse and when they left he was being given
a nebuliser treatment and a dose of antibiotics. This also likely
means that his Alzheimer's will advance too as that seems to be the
case for him (and anyone I suppose) who has Alzheimer's and ends up
with pneumonia. Unfortunately the pneumonia is normal as Alzheimer's
patients tend not to walk much. Even when they do, as my MIL swears
that Henry walks a lot, it isn't done as exercise, it is done as simple
movement and that's not enough to work his lungs. He mostly just shuffles along.

Anyway . . . any thoughts, vibes, prayers or otherwise would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you

Our weekend

Well, we were lucky enough to have Jennifer in Ontario again this week. She had to travel to New York for business and when that happens, she travels through Ontario to stay with us for a day or two at either end.

We were extra glad to have her here this time as this past Sunday (after she flew in from New York Sunday morning) Doug, Jennifer and Christena took Henry to a Long-Term Care Facility to have him admitted into permanent care. In the week prior he was spending time standing, unable to move, he had fallen in the bathroom having forgotten what to do when needing to toilet, and had become increasingly hostile and unwilling to take the medications necessary to keep him alive. It was time.

It was indeed that hardest thing Christena (or Doug or Jennifer) had ever had to do. Christena was talking last week about all of the things in her future that aren't going to be as she had planned. She was looking forward to retirement and taking walks with Henry, socializing more. She was looking forward to the two of them spending more time doing things with Fergus and Quinn. And to top it off, it was Mother's Day. Not how any of us wanted to spend Mother's Day.

He has been there for 2 days now and I have agreed to drive her to see him -- the closest available place for him was in Mount Forest, about a 1 hour drive from here -- this coming Friday afternoon. As soon as there is a bed in a facility closer to home, he will be moved. The idea is for him to be in a location that she can access by bus if we are not around to offer her a ride.

Stuart, would please make sure that Uncle Robert knows what is happening? I don't know if Jackie reads my blog or not but if you are in contact with him, Aunt Tillie or Uncle Jack, would you let them know what is happening here? Anyone who has more questions is more than welcome to call so I can further explain what has transpired to find us at this point.

Thank you to all for your words and thoughts of support and encouragement.

Our weekend

The weather has become consistently more sunny and agreeable. On Sunday I was able to couple the nice weather with some time off to be spent with my family. Since we don't often have this opportunity we took a little drive to Belfountain, a hamlet just north of where we stay. It is a lovely little place and we wandered around and took a few pictures (as you can clearly see).
http://www.belfountain.ca/

Fergus and Quinn both had a sleep over at Adam's house on Friday night. It was Quinn's first sleepover with a friend and his nervous parents had nothing to worry about. He managed to snuggle down and sleep soundly through the night. When I left for work Doug was wondering when they would be home. Turns out he had a large part of the day to himself as they stayed at Adam's and played outside until mid-afternoon.

After their play, daddy's day alone and my day of teaching we met at a local pub for dinner and some time to reconnect. We had plans to celebrate the Cinco de Mayo with friends in the evening but we wanted some down time first.

Saturday evening we went over to see friends (Karen and Larry) and were joined by another family (Janice and Dave) where we enjoyed an evening of hot tub, wine, fire, and card playing. The boys had friend, Liam, to play with and after running around in the back yard they settled to watch a movie downstairs. It was clear that Quinn was losing steam and the movie seemed like an easy way for him to wind down. By 11:00 Fergus was up to tell the adults that both Liam and Quinn were asleep on the floor and he sat to watch us play cards.

As I have said, Sunday dawned sunny and bright. I knew I wanted to spend some time in the garden but I needed time with Doug and the boys. How to decide?? We started with a big fry up for breakfast and Fergus went over to Adam's while I went to Kim's to receive some of the perennials she was willing to split for me. Fergus was only going to Adam's for a little while but long enough for me to get a trunk full of plants and come home to plant the most sensitive.

When we got home from Belfountain Doug made burgers for dinner while I continued planting. He is an AMAZING man. Not only did he feed us but he also tidied up and then came out to water the plants I had added to my gardens.

Some of you might be wondering how Henry is doing as this is often what I post about. He is okay. Not a lot has changed other than that we watch him slip into his disease a little more every day. For instance, he has forgotten now how to put his shoes on. (What??) He hasn't been able to dress himself for a couple of months but he was still able to put his shoes on. Over the past couple of days this has not been the case.

He no longer asks after his family the same way that he was a month or two ago. In fact, he almost never generates a conversation. He will sit for extended periods of time without saying anything and not appearing to see the people in front of him. His physical health seems to be okay though. While he wasn't able to climb the stairs between their home and ours only a few weeks ago, now he is up and down the stairs with ease. His depth perception has gone and we need to help him on the stairs so he doesn't lose his footing but he is able to do all the lifting without aide.

How is Christena doing as his primary caregiver? It is taking a huge toll on her to have to be in the role of caregiver instead of that of wife. He is not agreeable about most of the things she has to do for him so there are arguments over everything. He doesn't want medication, he doesn't want bathed, he doesn't want shaved, he doesn't want to drink the fluids necessary to stay hydrated. You can see these aren't little things and so the arguments go on most of the time. She is having to be home with him all of the time as he can't be left alone and that is exhausting.

Jennifer will be back tomorrow -- on her way through to New York -- to spend a couple of days. She will also be back on the weekend. It does help Doug and I when she is here so that there is not only someone else for mom to vent with but also so that there are another pair of eyes to watch Henry and allow mom to go out and clear her head.

Well, I think that's what is new here. Hope all of you are well. Please keep in touch!!

Henry is home again

While we were gone we were hoping that the hospital would keep Henry to be able to give Christena the break. She does not cope well when she can't have time to herself (not that I can blame her, I would be EXACTLY the same way, I am sure). No such luck. Henry did not have pneumonia again, the nebulizer was keeping his airways clear. This time he was severely dehydrated (the man doesn't drink anything other than tea and coffee which only serve to further dehydrate). They kept him in to rehydrate him.

We did learn that the cancer is continuing to advance. Christena really wants to investigate to find out how much it has changed but Henry was clear (at a time when he was able to be clear) that he did not want any further treatment. Because we are planning to treat the cancer, they are willing to spend the money on more testing. Quite frankly, I suspect the treatment would kill him faster than the disease anyway. He took a huge medical beating last time and he went in to that treatment otherwise healthy.

Anyway, Henry is home and life is back to what it was last week. Amazing how fast things return to normal.

The boys are happy we are home and loved the gifts we got them. Apparently they had a riot with Nani and Papa and now Quinn is happily riding a two-wheeler, thanks to some help from his big brother.
Have a great week.

The attractions we didn't go to

but that the boys would REALLY like us to go back and check out (with them in tow of course)

US

To prove we were there and didn't just buy a couple of postcards, we finally thought to have someone take our picture yesterday morning. This is just down from our hotel and the American Falls are in the background.

The weather was GORGEOUS and we had a great time walking and talking and holding hands! Doug did spend some time by himself taking pictures while I went and had a WONDERFUL massage!!! I would have loved to hang out with him, holding his lens cap but the massage table was calling me.

What a GREAT weekend!!!

To say thank you will never cover it all! We had such a wonderful time and so here are some pictures that we took while we were there. This won't be wordy, just pretty!

Picture #1: the view from our room
Picture #2: a view of our room
Picture #3: another view of our room

(PS - Yes, that's Doug's computer on in the one shot. He had a couple of hours work to do in order to be able to have the weekend off.)

Henry is back in hospital

We thought perhaps his pneumonia was back but apparently not. The nebulizing treatments he has been receiving have kept his lungs in better health. The doctor last night (when we took him in) thought that is was an advancement of the cancer. Unfortunately this also means an advancement of the Alzheimer's disease. They are keeping him for now and have mentioned perhaps putting him into palliative care. It is my understanding though, that palliative care does not have the facilities to house or accommodate his wandering tendencies, etc. due to the Alzheimer's. I do not know, at this time, how things will unfold.

I will not be home to post an update over the weekend (as you will know if you have read other blog entries) as this is OUR ROMANTIC WEEKEND AWAY!! I will post again Monday or so if there are any changes.

I am off to finish waxing my legs and maybe have a nap. It would be terrible to get to Niagara Falls only to sleep the weekend away from fatigue!

What world is this?

I posted to a group of AMAZING and wonderful on-line friends (whom I have been extremely close to since we "met" even though there are many of these incredible womyn that I have not actually MET IRL) about Kristin setting Doug and I up for the night in Niagara Falls. That, in an of itself continues to blow my mind!!

After posting about how blessed I felt these womyn took it upon themselves to further fill my cup to overflowing and pitched in to give us an extra night. Now Doug and I have two nights away in Niagara Falls while the boys get to spend the weekend with my parents.

I was stunned speechless . . . and you know me . . . that's no easy feat! Then I started to cry. (Again, no surprise there!)

For everyone who contributed, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. For those who have simply sent positive energy our way to allow us to have the stars line up in such a way that we can manage to swing time off together to make sure our marriage stays on track, THANK YOU! We have been feeling your love and support over the past several months and we want you to know that we know and that we appreciate it.

Sheraton On The Falls

The web address for the hotel we will be staying in is linked here: Sheraton
(I hope this works because I don't do it often enough to be confident.)

Anyway, we have been gifted with a room that has:

2 Queen Beds Traditional Non-smoking, City View, Sweet Sleeper Bed, Large Marble Bathroom, 330 Sqft Room With Cherrywood Furnishings, Oval Table With Chairs, Overlooks City Of Niagara And Famous Clifton Hill

Thank you again Kristin! This is the nicest thing EVER!!!!

The chocolate is wearing off . . .

Good morning.

Things with Henry are about the same. It is a steady decline in his abilities to do anything. He broke down crying last week because, in a momentary period of cognizance, he realized he can no longer do the little things (like get dressed or shave) himself. It was quite sad. Christena still doesn't know how to handle him and she spends a great deal of time losing her patience with him. It is infuriating but there isn't much we can do until a space becomes available for him in a care facility and we aren't the primary caregivers for him.

Right now the biggest challenge is getting her to understand that we agreed, when he came home, that she needed to be with him *ALL* of the time, unless she had arranged for respite care to come in. Our lives are *so* busy that we can't be counted on to drop everything and go sit with him while he looks at the television. She still decides, on a whim, that she needs to go to the drugstore and will just come up and announce that she is going out. She does not get that he can't be left at home alone, at all. It isn't safe for him or for everyone else. We struggle with that and she gets angry with me when I tell her she can't just go out. I think I have posted this frustration before though and so will leave it.

Last week I had a client killed in a car accident. It was HORRIFIC! She was due on April 26 and her husband was driving. He spent the week and Sunnybrook and is slowly recovering. She and the baby went to Trillium, to deliver the baby to try to save it before she died but had no luck. Both mom and baby died as a result. I asked Doug to come with me to the wake on the weekend and it was a Catholic wake. The casket was open with mom and baby laying together, holding the rosary. I don't think Doug will ever be the same. It REALLY upset him. He wasn't upset that they would do that, rather it bothered him to see the mother and baby together.

With all the has gone on here in the recent past Doug and I have decided to get away for a night. My parents have agreed to take the boys to their place the weekend of the 21st so that Doug and I can go away. We can't even do that here because Christena thinks nothing of coming upstairs to vent if she is feeling frustrated. I was out for coffee last night with a past client/now friend and was telling her we were going to Niagara Falls for the night. I explained that we had never really been before (other than to do a 5 minute viewing of the water) and when I got up this morning I found an email from her explaining that she used some of her travel points to book us a room at the Sheraton On The Falls hotel. It was so sweet. I started crying. It seems silly but there has been SO much stress lately that this seemed like the sweetest thing anyone could ever do for us.

Anyway, other than the colds that all of us seem to have, life is pretty much the same. How are YOU doing????

Noni and Chris

bought their first house. (For those of you who don't know Noni -- or Rhonda, for short -- she is my sister.) This is a picture of them on the floor (before the floors were were sanded, stained and verathaned) in their living room. I was there yesterday to see the new house and it is beautiful. They have great plans for it too.
CONGRATS Noni and Chris!!!

A brief update

A friend just asked me about Henry and I realized I haven't posted here for a while. It can be hard to keep up sometimes (with life just moving along at a break-neck pace) and this week has been especially hard. I learned that one of my clients, a woman from Mississauga who happens to be a nurse at Trillium Health Centre, was killed in an auto collision last weekend. She was still pregnant at the time and was due to deliver around the end of April. I can not tell you how profoundly this has hit me. Her partner is at Sunnybrook with serious injuries and I hope he has recovered enough to be able to attend the wake tonight and tomorrow as well as the funeral on Monday. He will need these opportunities to work through his grief. Doug has agreed to come with me to the wake tonight so that I have a support network of my own.

In any case, with that going on I have forgotten to keep you informed of changes happening here. Now that Henry is home again I think Christena is understanding why we encouraged her to allow him to stay in long-term care. It is more of a full-time job than she realized. This is especially true given that most nights, regardless of being both "tranquilized" AND "sedated" (with two different medications) he does not sleep through the night. When he doesn't sleep at night, neither does she . . . or any other adult in the house (Fergus and Quinn seem to be able to sleep through ANYTHING). Henry is most confused at night and so is louder and angrier at that time of day. It is certainly difficult for both of them.

She is also having trouble with the idea that he can't be left alone. At all! And this has happened a couple of times this week. I can't seem to get through to her. This morning I was still sleeping when I heard her come up and ask Fergus to tell me that she had gone out to the drug store for something. She has him locked in downstairs (I can get in easily, but he can't get out because we know he has a tendency to wander) and left him sleeping on the chesterfield. I couldn't do that with the boys and she needs to learn that she can't do that with him. It's like leaving a toddler home alone. I just went down to sit with him while she was gone -- even though he was sleeping -- in case he woke up.

Henry started his day program this week. It is like day care and it gives Christena a break two days a week; not to mention that it's a social and stimulating environment for him. We have someone from the local Red Cross come to pick him up at 8 in the morning. They feed him and keep him entertained and then bring him back around 3:3o in the afternoon. This is on Tuesdays and Fridays and is to give her some time to go out and run errands or catch up on lost sleep. He didn't mind going and she felt like she got a lot accomplished.

Physically he is in the same place he has been since he got out of hospital. We are hopeful that we can keep the pneumonia away with him being nebulized 6 times a day. We'll have to wait and see.

For those who celebrate Christian Easter, Happy Easter. For those who celebrate the Pagan "Hiding and finding of eggs brought by a rabbit (the symbol of fertility)," good egg-hunting to you!