I'm not going to Ryerson in the fall

I wanted to let you know that I received a call from the university to let me know that I don't have the science requirements needed to get into school for next year. They are no longer accepting applicants on the condition that they achieve the science requirements prior to the beginning of the school year so . . . I am hoping to take some courses in the fall -- perhaps even through the upcoming summer so I can reapply next year.

I am heartbroken. I tried to tell myself that it wasn't a big deal and that I wouldn't be upset if I didn't get a call for an interview but I lied. It royally sucks.

I wanted to say thanks for having been on my side and having supported me through this process.

Take care

See! Here is the pile of snow

that Doug help Fergus make!! Now they are sledding down the front lawn and into the big pile at the bottom of the lawn before the road. Good thing this is a quiet street!!!

Well, the OSCARS are over

AND . . . An Inconvenient Truth won!!! I am not surprised! Best documentary AND best song!! I am glad that they are getting the recognition because perhaps it is the kind of familiarity people will need to actually work to make a difference. I continue to be frustrated with the complacency I see in the world at large! This is our PLANET everyone!!! (deep breath! I know, I am "preaching to the converted.")

I love the Oscars (TM) and was happy to spend the evening huddled up in front of the television watching the pre pre show, the pre show (with smatterings of the Barbara Walters special) and the opening show before the actual awards got going. Doug was forewarned that this was how I envisioned the evening unfolding for me and so he and the boys spent most of the pre-show time playing Play Station. We even made sure to have a finger-food dinner so that there wasn't much to have to clean up afterwards.

We got a great dumping of snow last night. There isn't much in the way of quantity but to see it flying around in the air last night was making us glad we were all snuggled deep in our cosy house. Now we'll have to go out and shovel. ("We," isn't that funny? We only have one adult-sized shovel so right now Doug is outside shoveling and by the time I get ready and go out to see if he wants to switch, I bet he'll be finished. At least he will be if I get my timing right anyway.) I love how the boys are really excited about helping until they are actually outside. Right now Fergus is outside shoveling snow ONTO our front steps to make a hill. The snow Doug is trying to move away from the front of the house is actually getting closer and closer to the front door. I bet by the end though, Doug will be helping Ferg with this "project!"

We went and had dinner with friends on Saturday night. It was great to see them. They are a wonderful couple (Kelly's my best friend from WAY back -- 20+ years) and we don't make enough time to see one another. I guess life gets in the way for all of us. This time we decided to make it an adult night so it was nice to be able to relax and not have to listen for children. Kelly found out about a great pub in Guelph -- these friends live in Kitchener so we split the distance -- and so we were able to get some real pub fare. Doug had the fish and chips with a pint (or three) . . . doesn't get more appropriate than that! The boys didn't mind staying home with their babysitter and having pizza for dinner either. They love it when we decide to go out because it always means that they get a treat too.

I had a surprise call from my mom last Wednesday. Dad was curling in Guelph (for those who are not from Southern Ontario, Guelph is a city of around 100,000 people about 40 minutes from our place) and she was going to be looking for things to do. Did we want to go and have lunch with her? YES! The boys love seeing her (both of them but she was going to have to be enough this time) and were excited at the opportunity.

What a week! They had seen my sister and her partner (Noni and Chris) the previous weekend when Doug and I went on a failed date! It was a fairly miserable experience for us but the boys had an amazing time. One thing about Noni and Chris is that they don't have children and they really love playing with their nephews. Add to that that Chris really loves playing in general and you have a very fun combination. They picked the boys up at 6:00 or so on Saturday night to take them to a movie (Bridge to Terabithia) and then -- all hopped up on sugar from their snacks at the theatre -- to Chuck E. Cheeses for an hour or two. The boys were in HEAVEN!!!!

Meanwhile, Doug and I were trying to use the gift card we received from Noni and Chris in December. We didn't know that it is unreasonable to assume you can go to The Keg and get a table without waiting for 2 hours on a Saturday night. We were (still ARE) absolutely desperate for some time alone. We haven't been on a date in a very long time and we needed to get away from the house (because there is never any real privacy when you have an open-door policy and your in-laws living downstairs) so that we could try to be alone. You can imagine what kind of state we were both in and how much we were looking forward to our quiet dinner, ALONE. We tried two "Keg" restaurants in our area and the first was a two hour wait, the second was one and a half hours. We just felt defeated. We came home and got take away instead. Then we waited and waited for the party crew to come home!

Life is good. Busy and chaotic but good. I am grateful every day for Doug and his seemingly unconditional love and support.

Valentine's may be a bunk holiday with little more than an economic value but, if nothing else it forces us to think about love. It may make you frustrated that you're forced to think about love but consider this, how often do you make yourself think about it? I don't need flowers, candy, and cards to tell me I am cared for (they help, sure ;o) ) but I do like that we make sure not to forget to say "I love you." In our everyday life we are so swept away with what needs to be done or who needs to be driven to whatever lessons are on the agenda but sometimes we forget to make time for the one person who gives you a reason to get up in the morning. Sure, my kids do that too, but Doug is my forever man. The boys fill a different part of my heart than he does.

That's enough sentimentality for one day. I will go snuggle with Quinn while he races his cars around the virtual track on the computer screen. Maybe I'll put the kettle on for some hot chocolate too so my other boys can get warmed up when they come in.

Let's see if I can add the link to the quiz

I'm trying again. Here is the link (I think)

I took a fun quiz today

The link to the quiz is here - from my friend's site.

I rated as the Empress. I am not surprised because as I read the description it feels true to me but at the same time I feel unworthy to be an "Empress." I also feel like all of the moms I know and am close to would be Empresses too because of our devotion to our children.

Here is the definition of the Empress. (I am somewhat disturbed by the 38% connection to "The Devil" though.)

The Empress is a maternal symbol. She is the mother figure who loves, nurtures and protects. She will protect you, she will always be there when you are in trouble. When you fall over and graze your knee, the Empress will kiss it better. Yet she is not a weak figure. Her compassion is strength. If her children are threatened she will stop at nothing to protect them. If well aspected in a Tarot spread, the Empress can symbolise security, protection and unconditional love. If badly aspected it can represent over-protectiveness, fear of risk taking and refusal to face the real world.

III - The Empress		94%
VI: The Lovers		81%
I - Magician		81%
VIII - Strength		75%
IV - The Emperor		69%
0 - The Fool		63%
II - The High Priestess		63%
XVI: The Tower		56%
XIX: The Sun		56%
XI: Justice		50%
XIII: Death		44%
X - Wheel of Fortune		38%
XV: The Devil		38%

Take care

Update about Henry

For those who check in here to find out more about Henry then I will tell you that there isn't much to tell. His overall health seems to be okay. His pneumonia has subsided and so that worry is gone for the moment. The nature of the pneumonia he had is that he is a likely candidate to get again and again. We will wait for now and celebrate that he seems well.

He continues to go long periods without much in the way of food. He just isn't hungry. This is something that Christena struggles with on an ongoing basis. We can't force-feed him and yet it seems so unfair that he just isn't eating. He eats about the equivalent to what a picky toddler would consume -- so those of you who are parents know just how little that is -- and does not drink the fluids he would also need. We have told him that he needs more but he isn't interested and we work every day to respect that that is his wish.

As I say, he remains in fairly good spirits and there is nothing like the arrival of his grandsons to generate a broad smile across his face. I will continue to post news when there are things to tell. Until then, take care of yourselves.

Some exciting news!

I don't know why pictures always have to be at the top of my blog entries but that seems to be the way I am able to function so here you go! We are back to the snowboarding hill later today (and I mean *hill* as there is no way it can be considered a mountain in this neighbourhood!). Ferg had a bit of a struggle last week so his instructor took some time at the end of the lesson to work alone with him for a run and that did wonders to increase his confidence level. He can't wait to get back there today. (And the sun is out and the sunscreen will be liberally applied . . . I might as well get a tan if I have to hang out on the side of the hill.)

The real reason I started this post today is that two nights ago a friend of mine from an email list I am on (have been on for a number of years) wrote to the list asking for volunteers to go to Chicago, all expenses paid, to help at the La Leche League International Conference in the children's playroom. She has put the playroom together many times and has always had help. This year she found out that the helpers she usually gets are not able to attend and so she needed new ones. She hoped to find a couple of us from our list as we are quite farflung (from NZ, to the UK, to the US and Canada -- east to west) and don't often get a chance to physically reconnect.

I was sitting on the chesterfield with Doug when the email came in. I told him I'd love to go and see my friends. I explained that I wouldn't be out of pocket for the trip and he told me to go! It was as easy as that. He knows this is the last international conference so I won't get this chance again. I really want to see my friends. I don't really care about the conference itself. It's the social thing for me!

There you go! I am off to Chicago for a week in the middle of July. It feels good to have this chance. I do have to get a passport though and that could take some time.

Doug did go on to ask how I'd managed to arrange to go to a breastfeeding conference two times in a row and he still hasn't had a chance to get to the big photography convention in Las Vegas that he always dreams of attending. I reminded him that I haven't paid for it, either time. I made sure he knew that if he could get someone to fund his way then there was no way I'd stand in his was of going! He grumbled something about that being unlikely. (said grumbling was done with a smile on his face) Too bad. I'd love to have to finances to send him. Maybe someday.

The other exciting news??? We got enough snow here Tuesday night that it took me 2.5 hours to shovel the driveway. I could hardly move yesterday when I got out of bed. I think I thought I was dying! How can that light, fluffy stuff be so blasted heavy?? The snow was up over the front of our VW Rabbit. It was kind of funny to see it so buried. Never a dull moment!

Doug and the boys are home too!

After posting on Saturday, I spoke with Doug and we agreed that the weather was bad enough that travel was not a safe idea. He figured they would spend the night and head out in the morning when my parents left for church. No such luck. Sunday dawned more winter-y than the day before and the boys decided to stay put one more night. Before bed Sunday evening Doug and my dad went out to the yard to shovel snow and clean off cars. Their plan was to ready everything for a very early morning departure for Doug come Monday.

The picture here is from the back door at my parent's house. The cars they had cleaned the previous evening are covered in snow. Ours is the car on the right and, while it may be hard to tell, it is navy blue in colour (as is my mom's car on the left). They were getting 2-5 centimetres of snow per hour through the night.

Just before noon the wind died and there was a break in the weather and so Doug decided to make a run for it. He made it to my aunt and uncle's place before needing to pause and wait for another break. All-in-all a trip that usually takes 1.5-2 hours in total managed to take almost 6 (including stopping for a couple of hours with my aunt and uncle). To say he was fried when he got home would be an understatement.

Jennifer left Monday morning -- after spending an hour on the tarmac . . . really it wasn't a great travel day for any of the Gardiner's in our immediate family -- and is now safe and sound back in Calgary. She has a busy week ahead of her trying to catch up on the things she had to shelve while in Ontario. She is hoping to be back here in a month or so. She feels as though she wants to travel back to be here as often as possible given the fragility of Henry's health. (That said, who knows? Henry may surprise us all and live another 10 years.) How he has deteriorated over the past month has surprised us all and knock us all for a loop.

Today is a lovely sunny day. Perfect for traveling, really. Oh well. We are all home now and are settled in for the night!

Henry is home!

First, thank you again to all who have been sending well-wishes for Henry's health. He has improved enough for us to have brought him home yesterday. It is certainly an adjustment having him back in the house with his newly advanced state of Alzheimer's. Christena is much happier having him here and that brings relief to all of the rest of us. She is his primary care provider and it worried her considerably to have him in hospital.

Tonight is the first night of many to come for in-home care relief. Christena is entitled to 2 hours a day of caregiver relief and our worker is Lucy. (I tell you that in case I refer to Lucy in future and you wonder who on earth I am talking about.) She is lovely. She arrived just before 7 and the poor woman barely got in the door before Jennifer and I were talking her ear off, letting her know all that has transpired in the recent past. Her head must be reeling!

Henry continues to need assistance with virtually every task; getting off the sofa, cutting his food, dressing, bathing and more. Christena is willing to help him with all of these tasks however we feel it is important for her to have an emotional and physical break every day and are grateful that the hospital felt the same way. Lucy will be able to step in and temporarily fill Christena's roll while she is off at bible study, choir practice, or just out getting some groceries.

Jennifer has been here since Tuesday and will stay until Monday morning. As you can imagine, the reality of seeing Henry in such a vastly different state than he was in a Christmas has been hard. She is so strong though. She has been immensely helpful to Christena and has been the voice of reason for all of us this week. No surprise, the reality of having Henry come home meant a lot of preparations for how to manage his care which she has picked up and run with. I am grateful she has been able to be here.

I have not written about the rest of my family in quite some time. There isn't much new to tell you about. I just hung up the telephone after speaking to my children. Doug and the boys went to my parents for the afternoon/evening and when we spoke they were just coming in from their second time outside playing on the toboggan run that my dad built for them. Apparently Nani and Papa (my parents) have "WAY more snow than we do MOM!" They love going there and I love that they love it.

Fergus is still loving his snowboarding lessons even if it hasn't been as easy to learn as he had hoped. This past week we tried some rentals and they seemed to fit him better, allowing for him to better manipulate the board on the hill. Now, if only his physical fatigue from learning this new sport would not prevent him from spending as much time on the hill as he would like.

While Fergus is snowboarding, Quinn and I are supposed to be snowtubing. The problem is that with the late arrival of snow this winter, the snow tube park has not yet opened. Quinn has captured the hearts of all of the other homeschooling parents in the ski lodge though. While Fergus snowboards, he and I play cards, dominoes, and other games in the lodge and he provides the entertainment for many of the parents. Many are amazed that a 5 year-old is as adept at games as he is. It is really funny to watch.

Fergus has also begun taking some vocal classes with the expectation that he will be singing in a boys choir very soon. He is adjusting to the songs and style of the instructor but he is taking these lessons with his best friend, Adam, and that makes it easier to be willing to try something new. I am excited that he is enjoying the vocal lessons so much as it reminds me of my own passion for singing.

Both boys are also taking basketball (Fergus) and soccer (Quinn) during the week so I am never bored. There is always something to keep me busy.

Douglas remains extremely busy with work but that is what makes him happy so I am glad. He has been on location a lot lately too and so gets to take pictures of new and upcoming vehicle releases. Two weeks from now he will be at the Toronto Auto Show and will be taking all kinds of pictures. Did I say how much he is enjoying his work??

When I have been shuttling children around to various activities lately I have been letting my sister edit my university application. I finally applied to Ryerson University for admission to their midwifery program. The idea is to go part-time so as to keep things at home as much the same as possible for as long as possible. We shall see if I even get an interview. I would really love to be able to work in an industry that I really love. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I will go now. Thanks again for all of your support!

Henry remains in hospital

I know I promised some of you that I would update the blog with information as to how Henry is fairing. He remains in hospital and we are hopeful that he will be well enough to be home by the weekend.

The challenge for him, now that they have treated the pneumonia, is keeping his oxygen saturation levels up. He has trouble getting around and requires oxygen at all times and also the use of a Nebulizer at prescribed intervals. He is getting physical therapy to keep his muscle strength up and to loosen the mucous in his lungs. Because the kind of pneumonia he had was "aspiration pneumonia" he remains at risk of it reoccurring. Any excess fluid in the airways or food that gets trapped in the throat can put him at risk.

Christena is anxious to get him home. We have made the calls necessary to arrange for nursing care to come into the home when he comes back. She is looking forward to the help and to learn whatever tips and techniques they can offer which may make the adjustment easier for all of us.
Jennifer came back to Ontario to see Henry and spend some time with him in the hospital. While he is improving from his most recent health scare we are seeing significant changes to his memory and she was hoping to see him and have him know who she is. He has changes dramatically since Christmas even. As I am sure you can imagine, it is difficult to wrap your head around the idea that someone you love so much may not remember you one day. This is truly a horrible disease.

We appreciate the prayers, vibes, words of encouragement, etc. that many of you have sent. Thank you for keeping Henry in the light.

It has been a long week already

Whether you pray, hope, wish, vibe, or send energy, this is a week that my in-laws could use something positive from the universe. As I indicated in my last post, Henry has been unwell. This illness has made his Alzheimer symptoms more pronounced and the disease has advanced such that the doctors are not hopeful that he will recover his previous cognizance.

We took him to the hospital on Monday afternoon. He was not able to get up and move around on his own and his breathing had become somewhat more laboured. On Sunday, the 14th I called Tele-health (a 24-hour warm-line staffed by registered nurses for health-related concerns here in Ontario). The nurse indicated that she felt it was the flu and since he had had the flu shot he would likely be feeling better in 72 hours. He was feeling much better within the prescribed time frame and we were hopeful that the worst was behind us.

Christena took Henry out with her to do some running around last Thursday so he could get a change of scenery and perhaps a new wind and he came home from that feeling unwell with fever and chills. The fever was always low-grade but his bodily functions (incl. getting up him self or feeding himself) became impossible to coordinate. By Sunday we knew it was not just the flu anymore and decided to take him to hospital on Monday.

The doctors have told us he has pneumonia and needs to be in hospital until the weekend likely. The added challenge is that he hates being in hospital and really doesn't like IV's (who does?) so he takes them out and indicates that he is getting ready to leave. I think the nurses are having a time with him. He keeps them on their toes at least.

In any case, that's our news at the moment. How are you and yours? Are you well? The winter is often a time for ailments and I hope you are managing to avoid any major illnesses.
Take care

I think we may be healthy . . . finally!!

Well, it's winter out there. Still. I think they have more snow and winter-like conditions in Oklahoma though. There are perhaps two inches, maybe three, of snow on our front lawn. They boys wish there was more but the driveway-shoveller in me is glad it is where it is.

The worst of the flu season seems to be past all of us. Doug managed to get some (suspected) food poisoning in there too. The boys were much more ill than I was and Henry was the worst off. Christena came upstairs last Sunday (the 14th) at 5 a.m. to have me go down and take Henry's temperature. He had come down with the flu. Understandably she was upset because he had had the flu shot and she misunderstood and thought that meant it would protect him from all types of influenza. She was extremely worried. He had a low-grade fever and was not able to articulate well. The worst part though is that this illness seems to have ramped up to symptoms of his Alzheimer's. This week he is able to do considerably less than even 10 days ago and it has been a real struggle for us all.

As you can imagine, with this progression we see more dedication required from Christena and we are worried about her burning out. She says she is fine but she also agreed to allow me to call and make arrangements for in-home care a few hours a week while she attends bible study and/or choir practice. She needs to do some things for herself to feed her own soul in order to have the strength to care for Henry.

The week ended well for Fergus. He began his snowboarding lessons and spent his first afternoon ever at the snowboard hill. He says he isn't sore so I guess he is in better shape than I am. I figure that if it were me out there one fall on the hill, let alone doing it while trying to manoeuver a board strapped to both of my feet would pretty much put me in the hospital. Ahhhh, the young! They have such a great "bounce" factor!

Quinn was still having some lingering aches and ailments so despite his desire for us to snowtube, I thought it would be better if we remained indoors and warm. (No, really, it was so he would get better . . . not at all because I didn't want to get cold.) We played some Monopoly and drank hot chocolate. Next week though . . . I am committed. (And the forecast is for something like temperatures in the -12 or -15 -- without windchill -- range. GREAT!)

The boys (Doug included) are all settled in to bed for the night. I should get back to the writing I am supposed to be doing. It's due by February 01st and I have to get some extra eyes on it before then. Have a great night. Sweet dreams.

Winter??? Is that you???

Well, I thought I should make sure to take a picture of the boys in the snow in case it is all the winter we get! (The new car is in the background.) Tell me again, in a convincing manner, how global warming is all a big farce being put together by crazy liberals just trying to win votes?! Al Gore must have some pretty good, and unbelievable connections to Mother Nature herself to be able to conjure up this kind of weather the same winter that his movie (An Inconvenient Truth) was released. He is a shoo-in for president now!! (Or maybe, just maybe, he was actually speaking the truth??)

We have had freezing rain on top of the inch of snow we received overnight. The rain has been falling all day and I can hardly wait to go out to this birth tonight. I'm glad Doug insisted on putting snow tires on the car. (Until this weather I had been thinking perhaps they were unnecessary.)

Looks as though Fergus will be attending his snowboarding lessons this week, finally. With some luck the snow-tubing hills will be open for Quinn and I as well. I am looking forward to having some time outdoors with them.

We are off out to Fergus' basketball lessons for the evening and then I will go off to the hospital. Have a great evening. Stay safe and warm wherever you are!

When a 4-door closes a 2-door opens

One of the fears Doug has had in the past, given the nature of the work that I do, is that our poor, old VW Jetta would die in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night as I am trying to get to a womyn in labour. As a result he has made an effort to keep it serviced and that we made sure to get all of the odd knocks, bumps, and thuds inspected right away. This dedication to the car (and to me) is what has kept it on the road and running beautifully for all of the 4 years we have had this vehicle.

It has truly been a family sedan. Not that we always travel as a family in it but rather that my mother was the first owner of the car and then she gave it to my sister. When Rhonda got mom's Passat we inherited Jetta and it has been with us ever since. The sad end of our family's connection to our beloved car has just taken place.

Doug's worst fear happened, sort of. It wasn't me that had the car when it died; he had it. As Doug was coming home from the office of his client in Thornhill the car began to work differently. The clutch was not engaging properly. He was able to pop it into place and got off the highway. Once off the highway the clutch died completely and he made his way to the side of the road before calling the tow truck.

An assessment of the situation and some serious discussion later and we came to the conclusion that if it was going to cost us an average of $3500.00 per year or more to keep the old car on the road -- and that's without the cost of regular serving or buying CAA (AAA to those of you in the US) -- to cover these break-downs on the side of the road. If only we could budget for that kind of spending. If only there was more value for money spent.

If we were spending that kind of money for an old car, what would that kind of money get us for a newer car? A VW Rabbit! We are supposed to pick up our new, 2-door, shadow blue, 5-speed, tinted window, 2007 VW Rabbit later today.

Great! Another bill to pay. Oh well, at least we can budget for this expense.

Our biggest worry now is what it will look like to see Doug or I get out of this car. It has tinted windows and looks pretty . . . well . . . YOUNG! I know we aren't ancient but we aren't 21 either. It will be funny to see the faces of the young people watching us drive around in our last ditch effort to relive our youth.

Week one is finished

Good evening!

There might be less snow here in Southern Ontario than any winter in recent history but that doesn’t seem to have affected the boys’ ability to get a cold. Both are congested and full of something that doesn’t sound good. Fergus, who hasn’t had a croup-like cough for a couple of years, woke during the night and required some time spent in the steam-filled bathroom. I have found cold to work better but given the fact that it wasn’t even freezing last night, I opted for steam instead.

I am back into the swing of things at the hospital having just finished my first full weekend of the New Year; seems odd that the holidays are so far behind us already. Fergus was back in his school program last week and starting tomorrow all of the other extra curricular activities of the week resume. Fergus is signed up to play basketball one evening a week while Quinn will go back to playing soccer on Thursday afternoons. Both boys are supposed to spend time at the local ski hill starting this coming Friday but we will need some snow before that can happen. Fergus has 8 snowboarding lessons arranged while Quinn and I have set ourselves up to do some snow tubing at the same time.

This week and all that it has in store for us will rely completely on whether or not my client has her baby (due Tuesday) and whether or not my boys are feeling any better. URGH! This is certainly the time of year for illness to hit.

Hope you and yours are well and without winter disease.

It is 2007!!

I mentioned in a previous post that we were taking a different approach to the holidays this year. We had decided to celebrate a different element every evening on the nights between Yule/Solstice and Christmas. We lit different candles in different colours on different days. The boys took turns lighting and extinguishing the candles each evening. Attached is an image of the boys (with their "rockin" new haircuts) helping me with this ritual. Our tree is in the background as is the computer I use to write these notes to you. (If you look closely you will see that I have a strange smudge near the corner of my computer. Quinn tried to see what would happen when candles and computers meet. Thankfully it was a brief encounter and that the computer still works.

Now below (hopefully, as I am still trying to figure out how to add images to this blog) is a picture of my handsome hubby in his kilt, after having been partying in the true Scottish fashion for a couple of hours already. This is the kilt he had made and subsequently wore to our wedding 12+ years ago. Isn't he cute??? He wore a turtleneck this time but was more traditionally dressed when we spoke our vows. He is next scheduled to wear this heavy wool skirt when his sister shares her commitment of love with an amazing man next April. I guess last night was Doug's dry-run (to see if he could still get it on). Kudos to him. I couldn't get my wedding dress on again if I tried. Why do I even have it still? Perhaps it needs to find a new home.

The boys had a late night, as expected, with Quinn crashing before we even left the party. Our resident party animal (at 8 years of age) was ready and raring to go even when we were home. Daddy and mommy needed rest though so he, reluctantly, went off to bed. When I went back in to check on him some 5 minutes later he was crashed. They are already talking about next year though. I just want to get through the rest of today. We had a GREAT time last night though and, like the boys, look forward to the theme for next year's event.

What did you do for the new year? Any resolutions? I resolve not to be such a pack-rat this year. I might even let myself give away the boys baby clothes. (I don't know for sure though.)

Happy Gregorian New Year

The boys are bouncing off the wall. Three hours to go until we leave for our annual New Year's Eve party and their best friends will be there too! This annual event started as 1999 became 2000 and several of us wanted to be able to celebrate with our friends AND with our children. This went so well that the same group (for the most part) has continued every year since.

There is a theme every year. We have dressed in 70's garb and eaten 70's grub. We have relived the 80's. We have dressed in our best clothes and in our best costumes (as our favourite TV personalities -- that was the year we dressed baby Quinn as Baby New Year from the old stop-animation show with Rudolph etc.) This year we are to come bearing food and beverage from our favourite places in the world. Doug will don his kilt and take some Scottish beer to enjoy with his fried snacks. I will wear normal clothes (as I did when I was in Belgium) but take two consumable items for which Belgium is known: chocolate and beer!

It is my turn to drive so I will mostly drink the Gini Grenadine as I did when I was there almost 20 years ago. Doug will enjoy my Belgian beverages.

Tomorrow we will spend time with friends from Kitchener that we just don't see often enough, no matter how hard we try to make it work.

We hope you and yours are well and that you have a fantastic party tonight and phenomenal 2007!!

Boxing Day 2006

Whew! We made it through. We were touch and go for a while there but in the end all played out exactly as it was supposed to.

As I believe I have previously posted, I had a client (#1) due December 21st. I also had a pre-eclamptic mom (#2) due January 17th but likely to be induced any time. Saturday I got a call from client #2 that her blood pressure was WAY up and the doctor was starting the induction. It may be a day or two but that is what I could expect. Great! December 23rd and a houseful of people arriving on the 25th. Nothing happened on the 23rd.

The afternoon of the 24th I received a call from client #1 informing me that her contractions were about 9 minutes apart but they had been inconsistent all day. Should she travel the 30-40 minutes north to Orangeville for Christmas dinner with her family? Sure, I say. Go and don't forget to have a glass of wine to see if we can get this whole process to slow to a stop.

No sooner am I off the phone with number one and number 2 calls to let me know that they have given her another Cervadil and that nothing is really happening. Perfect. I make sure the rice stuffing is cooked and the cranberries are ready in case I miss dinner on the 25th.

At 7:45 p.m. on the 24th client #1 calls, contractions are 5 minutes apart and they really hurt. She was having trouble smiling and being nice at her cousins so they have decided to head home from Orangeville. Her husband wants to keep going to the hospital but since they have their 3 year old with them we agree to meet at their place in 30 minutes. They will call the babysitter so she can meet us at the house and take the 3 year old.

Great, at least one of them is doing something. If I can get one to deliver then I will feel less stressed. Hold that thought . . . the phone is ringing again.

Hi Client #2! Your water just broke. You're kidding. Are you contracting? No? Okay. Try to get some sleep now while you can. (S#!T!)

I practically break my neck to get to the house of #1 to find them and get her in my car to take to the hospital. Her husband will follow once he gets the 3 year old settled.

I speak again to the husband of client #2 and advise that if they offer a sedative she should take it as she has not slept all day and her body will kick in any time. I advise him that I am with client #1 but that he should call and leave a message on my phone with any updates. I would go straight to them after #1 delivered if need be.

#1 Mom is now contracting 2-4 minutes apart and I am driving as fast as I dare. I don't want to scare the baby out and definitely not in the car. We stop once so she can vomit on the side of the road (at least I got warning) and we arrived at the hospital at 9:00 pm. Mom is admitted and is 4 cms. dilated. Great!

#1 Dad arrives at 9:30 and at 10:00 we go into the whirlpool room to help her relax. There is one fluorescent light so we close the drape but leave the door open with the light off to provide a moderately comfortable environment.

At 10:30 she tells me she needs an epidural. I mention this to the nurse who says the anesthetist is in with another case and will be at least two hours. "Besides, I think she is pretty much ready to go" I am told by the RN. (We had a FANTASTIC RN, btw.)

I go back and relate this news to #1 Mom who is not happy with me. We get her out of the tub, at her request, get her into her room and (at 10:50 p.m.) she is found to be 8-9 cms. dilated and while being checked her water breaks. Things get more intense. Mom is coping REALLY well but is a little freaked out at how fast it is going.

At 11:10 she has a slight anterior lip but doesn't want it moved for her so we wait through another contraction or two. Now it's 11:20 and she is pushing. Wow! The head is right there. As our RN reaches for the call button to call the Dr. he walks in behind her. 11:30 p.m. and we have a beautiful baby boy, 7 lbs. 12 oz. He is pretty cute. Seems to know what the breasts are for too!!

I am home around 2:00 a.m. No news from #2 Mom (who is now #1 Mom and really my only client of concern). I leave a message for them at the hospital to let them know to call me whenever they need me. I go to bed and toss and turn for the next several hours. He finally calls at 8:00 a.m. Nothing is happening yet but she is really uncomfortable. I remind him that I can go to them at any time and he says he knows this. He will call when there is something to tell but right now, they have indicated it is still early and they don't want to bother me on Christmas. "It's my job! That's what you've paid me for!" "I know. I'll call when there is something to report."

He did call again at 10:00 or so. The baby was almost 2 hours old and was born within a couple of minutes of his call to me. I missed it. My heart is broken because I know she was scared and was worried about bothering me. The baby went to the special care nursery and will be there all week as he is not due for a couple of weeks and was not breathing well on his own at birth. I guess I will do some extra work for them in their home once they get baby home.

Two boys in 9 hours. It's my new record, beating out the June 03, 2006 record of two births in 11 hours 40 minutes (although I did make it to both of those).

My family (immediate and extended) is great and we had a lovely time together yesterday. My brother and Chantel were greatly missed as was my BIL, Nino who was not able to come from Calgary this year. We shall see him in April when he and Jen get married and Nath and Chantel will, hopefully, be home this summer.

Now that Rhonda and Chris won't likely be getting married this year (maybe next but who knows) there isn't the same incentive for them to come back in time for any special events. (Except mom and dad's 40th this summer! That would be a great present for them!!)

Take care and hopefully I'll get a chance to write again before the new year!

It is now winter - knitting news

We have welcomed the new morning light (behind the clouds of rain) and are thinking of all of the very special people in our lives and the new paths they are taking. In this season of new life, new light, re-newed inspiration I am trying to set new paths for myself. I have spent a great deal of time in the recent past working on my application to school for next fall. My hope is to get it finished by the new year so that I can have a few friends review it for content and grammar.

The past two years I have taken the boys into Kensington Market in Toronto for the Festival of Lights on the Solstice. This year was to be no exception but my body had other plans. I dropped the boys off at Adam's for a play while I doing some last minute shopping and I found myself short of breath, crying uncontrollably and feeling generally overwhelmed. I called Doug to talk to him and the poor guy was trying to calm me down over the phone while working at the same time. (He has been on a shoot at Toyota this week, and last, of the Tundra and it is a LOT of work.) He convinced me to listen to my body and do what feels right. I will continue to feel guilty for abandoning my friend, Christi and her family. They are who we usually attend with and I didn't get to let her know until the time she was expecting us to arrive. I know she understands and that the guilt is mine alone, I feel it anyway though.

While it broke my heart I knew that it would be pushing it to head in the Festival and so when Steph brought the boys home I talked to them about staying in. I needed some home time. These feelings of being overwhelmed are part of what I resent the most about this time of year. I love giving the boys their Yule gifts, waiting for Santa on Christmas and seeing family and friends but I hate the hustle and bustle of the season. Everyone is cranky. People drive like morons. I hear "Peace" and "Joy" preached out of every mouth yet rarely witness it in practice. I don't know. I guess that's a big part of what was bothering me yesterday. I was so sad not to do this very special celebration with my boys. We had a fun celebration at home though and read a story about the Solstice before we ate our special Yule meal. Last night it was tacos, tomatoes, and all things red (including wine). Tonight it is "water" and so it will be all things liquid (again, wine qualifies) and some seafood.

The boys loved their first gifts of the season. Fergus received an electronic lab and is learning about how to create electrical currents. He and Doug and then he and Jennifer were playing at it last night. Given how reluctant he was to turn it off and go to bed at 11:00 I would be surprised if it isn't the first thing he does when he gets up.

Jennifer has been here since Monday and it is SO AMAZING to have her back in town. I KNOW she will be exhausted to the core when she goes home. There is always so much for her to see and do while here and it makes me sad that she gets so little time to just sit. She is leaving on Monday, after dinner, so we get to have her home for a full week this time. For that we are extremely grateful.

Quinn received a Dora sleeping bag and while many would think that that isn't really a gift for a 5 year-old, he would beg to differ. He is still asleep in it as I write. His eyes were as wide as they can possibly get when he opened it last night and that was worth it. Doug asked me a couple of times if I was sure he would like it and I was. I am glad I was right!!

I gave Doug a pizza cutter ( since he broke the handle off our last one and promised to get it replaced -- two years ago) and a gift certificate for a massage. We used to get massages for one another all of the time but we have stopped and I admit that I really miss it.

Doug got me a much needed hair dryer (my last one was so old it was melted in spots) and (the piece de resistance) a set of DENISE interchangeable knitting needles. I am SO happy. I have been looking at them for a long time but couldn't justify the purchase. Now I can knit anything I'd like and work towards knitting half as well as my friends, Suna and Barbara. They are my knitting inspirations. (They inspire me in a lot of ways, actually. They are both very strong womyn who have had crappy things happen in the recent past and yet they seem to always rise above the carp.)

I am part of an incredible online community of womyn and we had our annual gift exchange this week. This community is international and we managed to get ourselves together to make or buy gifts to send around the world. We then set a date on or around the 21st of December and join together in an online chat. We take turns opening our gifts, reporting what we've received, and "talking." This year a few recipients were able to post photos of their gifts too so that gave it a new dimension.

My sender lives in New Zealand and I was the lucky recipient of a shell necklace and some matching earrings. I can wear them while I eat my fair trade chocolate that found it's way into the package. She also sent a tea towel, some postcards, a magnetic notepad for the fridge, and a birthday calender. I was truly spoiled again this year.

I should run. Fergus is just up, a little early for him, and is asking for food. I'll put my mom hat back on and hope that the weather is traditional and seasonal for you wherever you are. This climate crisis has me particularly worried this year. We are supposed to have temps. 5-7 degrees above seasonal here. Take care and stay dry.

A lucky week

The boys came home on Wednesday and it was amazing to see them again. I am always astounded how much I can miss them when they are only gone for a couple of days. They had a GREAT time with Nani and Papa and got a lot of work done on the go-kart. (It will require another trip north to finish.)

I have been fortunate enough to have been invited to two feasts this week to celebrate the pending holiday. The midwives had their dinner in Mississauga last night and it was a great opportunity to see them again. There were a few missing, that's the life of a midwife, but most were there and it felt really good. Speaking with them reminds me why I still want to apply for school for the fall.

Today the OBs from Trillium had their annual lunch at the Waterside Inn in Mississauga. A couple of the midwives were there as well as the nurses from L&D and the LC's from the Family Care Centre. I was the only educator to go but that was the case last year too. It is nice to be invited to occasions like that.

Doug and Ferg are snuggled up watching a movie while Quinn plays Game Cube. I think tonight might be a great time for me to catch up on some reading. My client (due Dec. 21) was having some signs of pre-labour today so it will certainly be an early night, in case I have to get up.

Hope you are having fun preparing for the holiday season!